In Wild at Heart, John Eldredge says, "I don’t trust a man who hasn’t suffered; I don’t let a man get close to me who hasn’t faced his wound." The first time I read this it really hit me. Eldredge is at the top of my list of people to meet. I've actually met someone who is on a first name basis with him, and he's told me that if he gets him to come to Cleveland he'll introduce me. Eldredge has has had a huge impact on my life, and I've never even met him. When I first read this quote it hit me. I had wounds, but I hadn't dealt with them. I was afraid to deal with them. I felt like I had no credibility in what I said because I hadn't experienced much of anything. I just existed.
I was forced to face my wounds, life fell apart and it was continue to spiral until you hit rock bottom, or wake up and begin to deal with things on the way down. I'm grateful that things didn't get any worse than they did. Over the past few months as I've shared about my wounds, I found it difficult to write about some of them. Part of me realized the role I had played in them, how I had let them go on for so long, and it was difficult to look at how I could have prevented things if I had been willing to look at the wounds.
At the same time, healing is so freeing. In the process of healing, God had shown me who I am, and that identity has given me direction for the future. If I had pursued healing sooner, what would my life look like? How much other junk could have been avoided if I had only been willing to pull off the band-aids and let God go to work?
The wounds I've identified are the big ones that have come to my mind, the main ones that have had the biggest influences on me. Writing about them, really processing them for the first time, has shown me some other areas that I need to look at. I've realized that though the main work is done on these five major wounds I've identified, there is still some rehab that God needs to do. There are other cuts that need some attention, and there is still healing that needs to take place.
As I look to the future I've wondered about new wounds that may come. I know who I am in Christ, I have an identity, a God-given name that no one can take from me. No matter what life may throw at me, I know what God has said to me. This identity is my foundation, my shield. There are always going to be those who try to wound us, those who want to inflict pain on us for one reason or another. There will always be those who try and tear us down, but we have the ability to withstand their assaults and escape unscathed.
What voice do you listen to as you move forward? The world will always try to define you, it will try and keep you from healing, try to stunt your growth, and try to keep you from hearing from God. But God will speak, amid all the chaos and lies of the enemy, God's still small voice is clearly heard, and that is the voice that matters.
We have a choice on which voice we listen to. If we listen to the world, we will be constantly debilitated by the wounds they inflict. Those wounds will become infected, spreading throughout our whole being, and ultimately destroy us. But if we choose to listen to the voice of God, letting Him define us, not only do we find healing, but we become resilient against future wounds.
"From my distress I called upon the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me in a large place. The Lord is for me; I will not fear; what can man do to me? The Lord is for me among those who help me; therefore I will look with satisfaction on those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes." Psalm 118.5-9
You are not defined by the wounds you have received, you are defined by who God says you are. I know this is true because it is what I have lived out, and I'm in a better place now than I ever have been before. As I look at the future, with my new scars, I look at what God is going to do in and through my life. The future holds more healing, and a life free from the pain and infection of wounds.
I am defined by God, not the wounds I used to carry.
I am defined by God, and the future is bright and full of hope.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
No comments:
Post a Comment