My first vision quest started as a survival challenge, but the setting and situation changed it into one of the best experiences of my life. It was so impactful that I voluntarily found a weekend this past summer to go and get alone with God.
As I have been reflecting on these times, I've seen how the lessons and insights I received from God have fit together. I first had to own the way that I approached life. I wasn't living, just siting by and hoping everything would one day fall into place. This realization awakened me to the fact that I needed to change, and do things differently, otherwise I was going to end up disappointed and full of regrets.
As I left the woods that first year, there was a lot to think about. As I started to make some changes to how I was approaching life, God began to direct my attention to some different areas; He was giving me some things to look at, work on, and pursue. When I entered the woods a second time almost a year later, these were the things God was focused on helping me to think about.
My first vision quest helped me to understand things about myself, and how I needed to do things differently. My second vision quest to the changes I was striving for, and helped me further understand what would be involved in pursing these new paths.
I feel that the first time I went into the woods, I was hoping that God would speak to me in a way that would lead to the restoration of my marriage. While God did help me to see the key aspects in myself that had contributed to the situation, He did not bring about restoration. I have never had the chance to share what I have learned with my ex-wife, and I had to come to accept the fact that restoration was not going to take place.
Upon accepting this, I had to realize that my life, ministry, relationships, and passions did not die with my marriage. It was not going to be easy, but I had to begin to pursue some of these new opportunities. There would be challenges, but God had created me to face them, and He would be with me as I stepped out in faith. God revealed, and God emboldened.
In the months following my first vision quest, I began to live differently. I started to live with more intentionallity. I began to carefully select the courses I was taking, the books I would read, and the paper topics I would choose to write on. I began to focus more of my planning for the men's retreats I lead around the life of Christ, drawing from His example, and striving to be more intentional about doing life with these men I am privileged to call brothers.
Following my second vision quest, I have begun to really pursue opportunities, knowing full well that there is going to be opposition to face and overcome. I have built on intentional living, and am now actively seeking to move towards some of the goals I have set, learning to rely on God when the lions begin to roar and move in.
These two experiences have been life changing, and I am looking forward to getting alone in the woods again with God this year. I don't know what He is going to share with me, but I fully believe He will speak, and that when He does, it will continue to build on what He is doing in my life.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Wednesday, February 28, 2018
Monday, February 26, 2018
Distant Reflections
I haven't had as much time to process this vision quest, and in all honesty, I've had a lot more to process in the 7ish months since I was in the woods than with the previous retreat, but I feel that the my life has been a constant reflection on what I learned/realized during the time spent in the woods. These two verses from the quest have constantly been on my mind.
Proverbs 22.13
The sluggard says, "There is a lion outside; I will be killed in the streets."
Proverbs 26.13
The sluggard says, "There is a lion in the road! A lion is in the open square!"
My life has been one constant plan change after another, and it seems like everything I come up with is changed for me. I'll be the first to admit that I have had my moments of panicked frustration. I've spent more than a few hours asking God, "Why is this so hard? Why does this have to happen this way?" I have had my moments of rolling with things and learning to trust. I've found myself being led by God more directly, and more often than I have, maybe ever, before in my life.
The biggest thing that I have to keep in mind is that there is a lion outside, more than one, and that he isn't going anywhere. He is going to stand out there, looking for a meal, and he is content to wait and catch someone off guard. The fact that I'm aware that they're out there gives me an advantage, but it only matters if I have the courage to go out there and face them.
I can play it safe, which I've been tempted to do on more than one occasion. I can stay status quo, not ruffle any feathers, and just go with the flow, safe in my house, away from the teeth and claws of a couple several hundred pound lions. That's no way to live, and in all honesty, that's worse than being eaten. I don't want to play it safe anymore.
There are lions outside, just waiting for an easy meal, and enjoying watching the fear and inaction their presence has caused. I refuse to be a victim of their intimidation any longer. The time has come for me to take some action.
I'm currently in the process of trying to move towards my future. I'm actively seeking ways to help myself move towards the role of Old Testament Scholar/professor of Old Testament Literature/Involved college professor-mentor who makes a difference in the lives of students.
The lions are out there, and they aren't going anywhere. They've been allowed to get comfortable, and they like it just fine where they are. I don't like where I am because of my fear of being eaten, and I've had enough. I'm suiting up, grabbing my sword and shield, and heading outside, to face the lions in the road.
That is what this quest, both of them, has been about. Face your fear, step out in faith, and face the lions.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Proverbs 22.13
The sluggard says, "There is a lion outside; I will be killed in the streets."
Proverbs 26.13
The sluggard says, "There is a lion in the road! A lion is in the open square!"
My life has been one constant plan change after another, and it seems like everything I come up with is changed for me. I'll be the first to admit that I have had my moments of panicked frustration. I've spent more than a few hours asking God, "Why is this so hard? Why does this have to happen this way?" I have had my moments of rolling with things and learning to trust. I've found myself being led by God more directly, and more often than I have, maybe ever, before in my life.
The biggest thing that I have to keep in mind is that there is a lion outside, more than one, and that he isn't going anywhere. He is going to stand out there, looking for a meal, and he is content to wait and catch someone off guard. The fact that I'm aware that they're out there gives me an advantage, but it only matters if I have the courage to go out there and face them.
I can play it safe, which I've been tempted to do on more than one occasion. I can stay status quo, not ruffle any feathers, and just go with the flow, safe in my house, away from the teeth and claws of a couple several hundred pound lions. That's no way to live, and in all honesty, that's worse than being eaten. I don't want to play it safe anymore.
There are lions outside, just waiting for an easy meal, and enjoying watching the fear and inaction their presence has caused. I refuse to be a victim of their intimidation any longer. The time has come for me to take some action.
I'm currently in the process of trying to move towards my future. I'm actively seeking ways to help myself move towards the role of Old Testament Scholar/professor of Old Testament Literature/Involved college professor-mentor who makes a difference in the lives of students.
The lions are out there, and they aren't going anywhere. They've been allowed to get comfortable, and they like it just fine where they are. I don't like where I am because of my fear of being eaten, and I've had enough. I'm suiting up, grabbing my sword and shield, and heading outside, to face the lions in the road.
That is what this quest, both of them, has been about. Face your fear, step out in faith, and face the lions.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Friday, February 23, 2018
Initial Reflections
Below is what I wrote in my journal about a month and a half after my quest.
Vision Quest 2017 Reflection (9/4/17)
This trip did not go as planned. I lost my hammock in the dark, and I left my hammock because I got worried about my car. My first thought when I headed to meet (my pastor friend) was "Well this is shot" but then I realized "No, this is part of it."
The next morning after finding my stuff I thought of a verse, and when I sat down, I couldn't find it. God had His plans.
As I reflected on this quest, the idea of a the journey has kept coming to me. (My pastor friend) mentioned it as we sat and talked; Jeremy mentioned it months ago. I feel that is what god is trying to teach me, has been trying for a while.
This is about the journey, like the process of forging a katana, it takes time, and the process is what make it so amazing.
Life doesn't go as planned, and that's ok. We focus on the destination, which we must have, but the point is the journey there.
Proverbs 22.13
The sluggard says, "There is a lion outside; I will be killed in the streets."
Proverbs 26.13
The sluggard says, "There is a lion in the road! A lion is in the open square!"
There will always be a reason not to embark on the journey; not to take that first step. But without the journey, we never get to the destination.
Life is about the journey. Sometimes we have to find a different path there, but we must stay focused and keep moving. god works through the "set backs", and uses them to help us minister to others.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Vision Quest 2017 Reflection (9/4/17)
This trip did not go as planned. I lost my hammock in the dark, and I left my hammock because I got worried about my car. My first thought when I headed to meet (my pastor friend) was "Well this is shot" but then I realized "No, this is part of it."
The next morning after finding my stuff I thought of a verse, and when I sat down, I couldn't find it. God had His plans.
As I reflected on this quest, the idea of a the journey has kept coming to me. (My pastor friend) mentioned it as we sat and talked; Jeremy mentioned it months ago. I feel that is what god is trying to teach me, has been trying for a while.
This is about the journey, like the process of forging a katana, it takes time, and the process is what make it so amazing.
Life doesn't go as planned, and that's ok. We focus on the destination, which we must have, but the point is the journey there.
Proverbs 22.13
The sluggard says, "There is a lion outside; I will be killed in the streets."
Proverbs 26.13
The sluggard says, "There is a lion in the road! A lion is in the open square!"
There will always be a reason not to embark on the journey; not to take that first step. But without the journey, we never get to the destination.
Life is about the journey. Sometimes we have to find a different path there, but we must stay focused and keep moving. god works through the "set backs", and uses them to help us minister to others.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Wednesday, February 21, 2018
Quest Conclusion
As I stood up, packed up my notes, and slung my pack over my shoulders, God spoke to my spirit again, "That's it for now, we're done. That's all I'm giving you to reflect on."
The previous year God had given me the sense we were done, and I was relieved. I had been exhausted, hungry, and extremely uncomfortable due to the Oak Mites. This year I felt great. I was well rested due to having slept in my bed. The hunger really wasn't an issue at this point, and since there were no Oak Mites, I was set to spend more time in the woods. I had allotted until noon, and it was just after 10:00 AM. God had shown me something really incredible, speaking to my heart in a way that had significant meaning to me, and I was eager for more.
From the bench I was sitting at the trail loop goes in two directions. I could turn left, heading back the way I had come, and be to my car in about twenty minutes. Or I could turn right, going an extra mile or so to connect with where this trail joined up with the path that would take me back to where I had parked. Not being satisfied with what I had heard, I went right, thinking if I could spend extra time in the woods God might say something else.
I hiked that trail, connected with the other one, and then decided to take the long way back to the parking lot. There is some amazing scenery in the area I was in, and the way the light was coming through the trees and hitting the landscape was gorgeous. I'm an amateur photographer, I've been told I have a great eye, and I love being out in nature, but it's one of those hobbies I just haven't invested the time or money into to get really good at it. I pulled out my phone and began trying to capture the moment. I had the perfect shot lined up. The angle was phenomenal, and the lighting was absolutely amazing. I was about to take the picture when my phone started ringing.
Ironically, it was a friend who's a photographer, and he very rarely calls, so of course he would be the one to call and mess up my shot. But I took that as a sign of God saying, "I told you, we're done for now." I answered the phone and enjoyed a good conversation, then I headed back to the parking lot, got in my car, and drove home; no donut stop this year.
My time in the woods was over this time, and it ended up being significantly less time than I had planned for. However, God used every minute of this quest, and when He had told me everything I needed to know to move forward, He sent me home.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
The previous year God had given me the sense we were done, and I was relieved. I had been exhausted, hungry, and extremely uncomfortable due to the Oak Mites. This year I felt great. I was well rested due to having slept in my bed. The hunger really wasn't an issue at this point, and since there were no Oak Mites, I was set to spend more time in the woods. I had allotted until noon, and it was just after 10:00 AM. God had shown me something really incredible, speaking to my heart in a way that had significant meaning to me, and I was eager for more.
From the bench I was sitting at the trail loop goes in two directions. I could turn left, heading back the way I had come, and be to my car in about twenty minutes. Or I could turn right, going an extra mile or so to connect with where this trail joined up with the path that would take me back to where I had parked. Not being satisfied with what I had heard, I went right, thinking if I could spend extra time in the woods God might say something else.
I hiked that trail, connected with the other one, and then decided to take the long way back to the parking lot. There is some amazing scenery in the area I was in, and the way the light was coming through the trees and hitting the landscape was gorgeous. I'm an amateur photographer, I've been told I have a great eye, and I love being out in nature, but it's one of those hobbies I just haven't invested the time or money into to get really good at it. I pulled out my phone and began trying to capture the moment. I had the perfect shot lined up. The angle was phenomenal, and the lighting was absolutely amazing. I was about to take the picture when my phone started ringing.
Ironically, it was a friend who's a photographer, and he very rarely calls, so of course he would be the one to call and mess up my shot. But I took that as a sign of God saying, "I told you, we're done for now." I answered the phone and enjoyed a good conversation, then I headed back to the parking lot, got in my car, and drove home; no donut stop this year.
My time in the woods was over this time, and it ended up being significantly less time than I had planned for. However, God used every minute of this quest, and when He had told me everything I needed to know to move forward, He sent me home.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Monday, February 19, 2018
Reflecting in the Woods
I really had no plan at this point, I was just walking the trails in the area waiting for God to speak. I was headed in the direction that God had led me to go, and I ended up at the bench I was heading to sooner than I had planned. I sat down, with two Proverbs fresh on my mind, and I did what you've probably come to expect.
I got out my pen and a few 3x5 cards, and wrote these words.
There will always be lions in the street. There Will always be reasons not to go, not to try, not to risk.
A life of excuses ends with regrets
Lion Killers don't deny that the lions are real. They don't deny the dangers/risks. They choose to face what scares them.
Lion Killers really live.
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door..."
What is holding me back from taking to the road?
What risks seem too daunting?
Am I allowing the reality of lions to keep me home?
Everything about this vision quest seemed to be in opposition to it. The weather was looking bad, the feelings of anxiety and panic I felt, loosing my hammock in the dark. There were lions outside, there were lions in the open square, but I can say I faced them. I had so many chances to give up this quest, so many chances to miss out on what God wanted to tell me, but I didn't quit, and I didn't back down. I fought the lions, and God gave me victory.
I sat there for a few minutes after writing, then got up to hike some more. I was going to head to another spot, I wasn't sure exactly where at that moment, but I still had time set aside to be in the woods, and I was eager to hear more from God. I did hear more, but it wasn't what I was expecting....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
I got out my pen and a few 3x5 cards, and wrote these words.
There will always be lions in the street. There Will always be reasons not to go, not to try, not to risk.
A life of excuses ends with regrets
Lion Killers don't deny that the lions are real. They don't deny the dangers/risks. They choose to face what scares them.
Lion Killers really live.
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door..."
What is holding me back from taking to the road?
What risks seem too daunting?
Am I allowing the reality of lions to keep me home?
Everything about this vision quest seemed to be in opposition to it. The weather was looking bad, the feelings of anxiety and panic I felt, loosing my hammock in the dark. There were lions outside, there were lions in the open square, but I can say I faced them. I had so many chances to give up this quest, so many chances to miss out on what God wanted to tell me, but I didn't quit, and I didn't back down. I fought the lions, and God gave me victory.
I sat there for a few minutes after writing, then got up to hike some more. I was going to head to another spot, I wasn't sure exactly where at that moment, but I still had time set aside to be in the woods, and I was eager to hear more from God. I did hear more, but it wasn't what I was expecting....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Friday, February 16, 2018
Not as Planned
God had met me in the woods yet again, speaking exactly what I needed to hear. Nothing about this weekend had gone according to plan, but I learned that was the point of the weekend. I didn't write down nearly as much on this retreat as I had the previous year, I had spent significantly less time in the woods, and God was slowly building on the foundation He had set the previous year.
I sat there on the bench, reflecting on the Bible verses I had read, the events of the past 12ish hours, and I pulled out a few 3x5 cards and wrote this:
July 29, 2017
Things don't always go the way you plan. You get everything ready, try to take care of something else, and then you can't find your way in the dark. It's ok. It's not the end. Stay calm, learn from it, and go back in the morning.
Life is not full of one chance moments. When plans fall through, life isn't over. When something you've worked towards doesn't pan out like you planned, it isn't the end of the world.
Get back to what you know, collect yourself, and go back to clean up. Salvage what you can, scrap what you have to, and move on.
Learn from it. Look back and laugh about it. Life doesn't go as planned, and that's ok. Don't give up.
If I hadn't lost my camp in the dark, I wouldn't have seen the owl this morning.
This quest had not gone at all how I thought it would go. It hadn't gone according to plan, but in that God spoke to me. In that, He taught me a lesson that has proven to be invaluable.
I sensed that it was time to take another walk, and so I packed up, put my pack on, and then decided I would begin to head towards my vehicle via the scenic route. I had a few hours left of my planned time in the woods, and at the moment, God hadn't told me we were done yet. I started walking, and just so happened to need to walk up the hill I really hate, but I got to the top, and when I did, I went to turn left and follow the trail loop that way, but as I did, I got the sense of God saying to go right. this made no sense to me, the direction I was going made more sense, it would eliminate going over the same part of the trail multiple times, and so I ignored the sense and turned left. The sense didn't go away, and so before I got more than 20 feet down the trail I turned around and went to the right. This is where I was being led, and so I listened....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
I sat there on the bench, reflecting on the Bible verses I had read, the events of the past 12ish hours, and I pulled out a few 3x5 cards and wrote this:
July 29, 2017
Things don't always go the way you plan. You get everything ready, try to take care of something else, and then you can't find your way in the dark. It's ok. It's not the end. Stay calm, learn from it, and go back in the morning.
Life is not full of one chance moments. When plans fall through, life isn't over. When something you've worked towards doesn't pan out like you planned, it isn't the end of the world.
Get back to what you know, collect yourself, and go back to clean up. Salvage what you can, scrap what you have to, and move on.
Learn from it. Look back and laugh about it. Life doesn't go as planned, and that's ok. Don't give up.
If I hadn't lost my camp in the dark, I wouldn't have seen the owl this morning.
This quest had not gone at all how I thought it would go. It hadn't gone according to plan, but in that God spoke to me. In that, He taught me a lesson that has proven to be invaluable.
I sensed that it was time to take another walk, and so I packed up, put my pack on, and then decided I would begin to head towards my vehicle via the scenic route. I had a few hours left of my planned time in the woods, and at the moment, God hadn't told me we were done yet. I started walking, and just so happened to need to walk up the hill I really hate, but I got to the top, and when I did, I went to turn left and follow the trail loop that way, but as I did, I got the sense of God saying to go right. this made no sense to me, the direction I was going made more sense, it would eliminate going over the same part of the trail multiple times, and so I ignored the sense and turned left. The sense didn't go away, and so before I got more than 20 feet down the trail I turned around and went to the right. This is where I was being led, and so I listened....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
Speaking to My Heart
I hiked along the trail, thinking about a couple Bible verses, and how they might apply to the experiences I had had with this vision quest. I made my way back to the lake, to the norther shore where the bench I had sat on the previous year is located. When I had taken off my pack I and gotten out my Bible, I began to search for the Proverb I had been thinking about. I never found, typically you don't find things when you aren't looking at the right verse. I read every thirteenth verse in Proverbs, and thought I didn't find what I was looking for, God spoke directly to my heart, not once, but twice.
Proverbs 22.13
"The sluggard says, 'There is a lion outside; I will be killed in the streets!'"
Proverbs 26.13
"The sluggard says, "There is a lion in the road! A lion is in the open square!'"
If you've paid attention to the title of this blog, or how I sign off every post, you may have guessed that I have a thing for fighting lions. It all started almost 3 years ago when a very familiar Old Testament story stood out to me in a new way. Since that day, I've been focused on fighting, or rather killing, lions (figuratively, not literally, I don't want to end up like that dentist who killed Cecil).
I want to be a lion killer. Lion Killers go outside and do battle with the lion in the streets. Lion Killers go after the lion in the open square. It is easy to stay inside, and there is always an excuse, always a reason no to do something, but Lion Killers don't make excuses. Lion Killers leave the safety of their house, and venture out to face the man-eater in the street.
I hadn't been looking for these verses, hadn't even been thinking about them, but this is what God wanted me to read and think about. God knows the way to speak to my heart, and He spoke in a way that was clear and meaningful to me. The realization of what is in the world, of the countless excuses that can be made at any time, not only fit perfectly with the past 18 hours, but so much of my life up to that point. There is always a lion outside, what is my response going to be?
I want to be a Lion Killer, and I believe that is who God has called me to be. My mind had not been thinking along these lines for this quest, but God knew the message I needed, and spoke to me in a way that I could hear it clearly....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Proverbs 22.13
"The sluggard says, 'There is a lion outside; I will be killed in the streets!'"
Proverbs 26.13
"The sluggard says, "There is a lion in the road! A lion is in the open square!'"
If you've paid attention to the title of this blog, or how I sign off every post, you may have guessed that I have a thing for fighting lions. It all started almost 3 years ago when a very familiar Old Testament story stood out to me in a new way. Since that day, I've been focused on fighting, or rather killing, lions (figuratively, not literally, I don't want to end up like that dentist who killed Cecil).
I want to be a lion killer. Lion Killers go outside and do battle with the lion in the streets. Lion Killers go after the lion in the open square. It is easy to stay inside, and there is always an excuse, always a reason no to do something, but Lion Killers don't make excuses. Lion Killers leave the safety of their house, and venture out to face the man-eater in the street.
I hadn't been looking for these verses, hadn't even been thinking about them, but this is what God wanted me to read and think about. God knows the way to speak to my heart, and He spoke in a way that was clear and meaningful to me. The realization of what is in the world, of the countless excuses that can be made at any time, not only fit perfectly with the past 18 hours, but so much of my life up to that point. There is always a lion outside, what is my response going to be?
I want to be a Lion Killer, and I believe that is who God has called me to be. My mind had not been thinking along these lines for this quest, but God knew the message I needed, and spoke to me in a way that I could hear it clearly....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Monday, February 12, 2018
Not What I Was Thinking
As I was walking along a trail I've hiked less than half a dozen times, my mind began to think about the past twelve hours. I had tried to talk myself out of this vision quest, felt extreme unease and nervousness, lost my hammock in the dark and stumbled around the woods looking for it, nearly blew off the whole outing, but then realized all of it was God trying to teach me something, and then enjoyed a pleasant night time hike around a lake before having an enjoyable front porch conversation that concluded with me spending a windy night in my warm bed. Now I was back in the woods early in the morning, having found my gear, and walking while trying to process what God was saying.
I started thinking about how easy it was to find my hammock when the sun came up. I had a light the previous night, but the luminosity of a flashlight, even my 230 lumen flashlight for backpacking, compares to the sunlight. It took me all of 3 minutes in the morning to locate the trees I had set up between the night before, and even if I had wandered around all night, I probably wouldn't have been able to locate that thing.
My mind took this and went to the book of Proverbs. Below is what I wrote on a 3x5 card at some point that morning.
Proverbs
"There is a way that seems right to a many but its end is the path of destruction."
-My flashlight (?)
"commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established."
-the sun (?)
Those verses are from Proverbs 16, verse 25, "There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death." and verse 3, "Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established." I had used these same verses in a sermon I had written years ago, and while I remembered what they said, I couldn't remember the reference for the life of me.
My waterproof Bible contains the New Testament, and Psalms and Proverbs. I knew it was in Proverbs, and something made me think the first verse was verse 13 of some chapter. I began to go through the Proverbs, reading every verse 13 in the 31 chapters. I did this just to cover all my bases, I knew it wasn't in the first few or last few chapters of the book. Obviously I didn't find it because I was looking at the wrong verse number, and since I wasn't getting on my phone, I had to let it go. Fortunately, like the night before, God had something different in mind. It was not at all what I was thinking, though now in hindsight what I was thinking kind of fits, but it was something that would speak directly to my heart....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
I started thinking about how easy it was to find my hammock when the sun came up. I had a light the previous night, but the luminosity of a flashlight, even my 230 lumen flashlight for backpacking, compares to the sunlight. It took me all of 3 minutes in the morning to locate the trees I had set up between the night before, and even if I had wandered around all night, I probably wouldn't have been able to locate that thing.
My mind took this and went to the book of Proverbs. Below is what I wrote on a 3x5 card at some point that morning.
Proverbs
"There is a way that seems right to a many but its end is the path of destruction."
-My flashlight (?)
"commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established."
-the sun (?)
Those verses are from Proverbs 16, verse 25, "There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death." and verse 3, "Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established." I had used these same verses in a sermon I had written years ago, and while I remembered what they said, I couldn't remember the reference for the life of me.
My waterproof Bible contains the New Testament, and Psalms and Proverbs. I knew it was in Proverbs, and something made me think the first verse was verse 13 of some chapter. I began to go through the Proverbs, reading every verse 13 in the 31 chapters. I did this just to cover all my bases, I knew it wasn't in the first few or last few chapters of the book. Obviously I didn't find it because I was looking at the wrong verse number, and since I wasn't getting on my phone, I had to let it go. Fortunately, like the night before, God had something different in mind. It was not at all what I was thinking, though now in hindsight what I was thinking kind of fits, but it was something that would speak directly to my heart....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Friday, February 9, 2018
Early Morning in the Woods
My alarm went off, I got up and dressed, and then headed back to the woods. It was dark as I was driving, and the sun had just barely begun to peak over the horizon when I got back to the area I was in the night before. I ended up parking farther away than I had hoped, but closer than I was planning on having to park. It wasn't a bad thing, I was alone on the trail, probably would be the only one out for at least an hour, maybe two, and I had the woods to myself. There are very few things in life I enjoy more than begin the only one on a trail really early in the morning.
I made my way along the familiar paths I've hiked countless times, and just tried to take in the serenity of early morning nature as I walked. I got back to the lake, and headed to the path that would lead me to my camp. Again, I was amazed by the serenity of the place that early in the morning. I really need to spend more early mornings in the woods.
I turned right, and took a side trail that was a more direct root to the main path I was heading towards. As I got close to the trail I looked up and saw an owl sitting on a low branch in tree about 20 feet in front of me (not sure if owls are going to be symbolic during these vision quests or not, we'll see if they play any part this year). I stopped, but it had heard me and was looking at me. I tried to get my phone out of my pocket to get a picture, but as I moved it turned to face me, spread it's wings, and took off in front of me. Not going to lie, it startled me, a lot, kind of freaked me out; you don't realize how big these birds are until they are right in front of you. Also, owls are silent in flight, and that added to the feeling, massive wings heading in your direction, but absolutely no noise. What a great start to my day (it really was, I don't know many people who had gotten to have that sort of experience).
I started moving again as I tried to slow my heart rate. I got back to where I had started hiking around the lake the previous night, then headed back up the hill. I found the spot where I had left the main trail, and began walking, for a third time, into the woods, looking for my hammock. As I walked there in the ever brightening light of the morning, I quickly realized my mistake of the night before, I hadn't walked in far enough, and I turned right way too soon. There was a bit of a drop off where I was, and to be safe, I had turned sooner in the dark. Now that I could see more clearly, I had a better idea where I had set up.
Finding the hammock still wasn't easy, and had the tree straps not been orange, it would have taken me a lot longer. Never the less I found my gear, made sure everything was ok, part of me expected to find a tree laying across everything because of how windy it was the previous night, but everything was fine. I started packing up, and as I did I began thinking about how much easier everything was in the day light. Initially I thought I knew what God was trying to communicate to me, but I didn't stop to write anything down just yet.
I loaded up my pack, picked up my hand made walking stick, and headed back to the main trail. Again, I'm amazed at how far into the woods I had gone the previous evening, there is no way I would have found this thing last night, possibly not even with my good backpacking headlamp. I got back to the trail, adjusted my pack, and started to hike....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
I made my way along the familiar paths I've hiked countless times, and just tried to take in the serenity of early morning nature as I walked. I got back to the lake, and headed to the path that would lead me to my camp. Again, I was amazed by the serenity of the place that early in the morning. I really need to spend more early mornings in the woods.
I turned right, and took a side trail that was a more direct root to the main path I was heading towards. As I got close to the trail I looked up and saw an owl sitting on a low branch in tree about 20 feet in front of me (not sure if owls are going to be symbolic during these vision quests or not, we'll see if they play any part this year). I stopped, but it had heard me and was looking at me. I tried to get my phone out of my pocket to get a picture, but as I moved it turned to face me, spread it's wings, and took off in front of me. Not going to lie, it startled me, a lot, kind of freaked me out; you don't realize how big these birds are until they are right in front of you. Also, owls are silent in flight, and that added to the feeling, massive wings heading in your direction, but absolutely no noise. What a great start to my day (it really was, I don't know many people who had gotten to have that sort of experience).
I started moving again as I tried to slow my heart rate. I got back to where I had started hiking around the lake the previous night, then headed back up the hill. I found the spot where I had left the main trail, and began walking, for a third time, into the woods, looking for my hammock. As I walked there in the ever brightening light of the morning, I quickly realized my mistake of the night before, I hadn't walked in far enough, and I turned right way too soon. There was a bit of a drop off where I was, and to be safe, I had turned sooner in the dark. Now that I could see more clearly, I had a better idea where I had set up.
Finding the hammock still wasn't easy, and had the tree straps not been orange, it would have taken me a lot longer. Never the less I found my gear, made sure everything was ok, part of me expected to find a tree laying across everything because of how windy it was the previous night, but everything was fine. I started packing up, and as I did I began thinking about how much easier everything was in the day light. Initially I thought I knew what God was trying to communicate to me, but I didn't stop to write anything down just yet.
I loaded up my pack, picked up my hand made walking stick, and headed back to the main trail. Again, I'm amazed at how far into the woods I had gone the previous evening, there is no way I would have found this thing last night, possibly not even with my good backpacking headlamp. I got back to the trail, adjusted my pack, and started to hike....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
Different Sleeping Arrangements
As we began to drive back to his house, my friend and I began talking about the process I was undertaking with this vision quest. He's walked with me through my divorce, and was the one who really challenged me to do my initial vision quest. As we drove, I began telling him about some of the things I had been learning and focusing on, as well as some of the things I was trying to work on for the future.
We got back to his house, and then sat down in chairs on his front porch, where we began to talk for over an hour. He asked me about how I was dealing with my divorce (the whole process wouldn't be over for a few more months at this point), how things were going with my girls, how school was, and overall how I was doing. I will say, it was really nice just sitting on a front porch and talking.
I don't remember most of what was said that night, and at this point I wasn't writing anything down like I had the previous year, but I do remember very clearly that he told me that I had gotten to the point where I was enjoying the journey. This concept had been one Jeremy had mentioned to me a few months ago, and at the time it wasn't something I was enjoying. Part of me was still focused on the destination, seeing the journey as an obstacle to be endured, rather than the main point of life. (You can read more of what I have come to see about this in a post I wrote on our group blog at: http://proverbs1824brothers.blogspot.com/2017/08/the-journey-by-will.html)
He asked me what my plan was for the next day, and I told him that my original plan had been to just scrap the weekend, but that I had realized that this experience was part of the process. I would head back very early, find my gear, and then spend the rest of the time I had set aside for the quest in the woods, seeing what God would say.
I headed home, set my alarm for 5:00 AM, I had to beat the sun up, and did another tick check (I really hate ticks and don't want any attaching themselves to my body, just in case you haven't picked up on that theme yet), and crawled into bed. I hadn't planned on sleeping in a bed that night, but in all honesty, I wasn't going to complain, it was pretty windy outside. I was tempted to get on my phone, check Facebook, and fall asleep to YouTube videos, but then I realized that I was still on the quest. The setting had changed, but God was still at work, and just because I was sleeping inside didn't give me permission to give in to time wasting distractions.
It was late, I was tired, and I had a very early start the next morning. I wasn't where I had planned to be, but I was right where God wanted me to be. In the morning I would begin to see more clearly what He had in store....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
We got back to his house, and then sat down in chairs on his front porch, where we began to talk for over an hour. He asked me about how I was dealing with my divorce (the whole process wouldn't be over for a few more months at this point), how things were going with my girls, how school was, and overall how I was doing. I will say, it was really nice just sitting on a front porch and talking.
I don't remember most of what was said that night, and at this point I wasn't writing anything down like I had the previous year, but I do remember very clearly that he told me that I had gotten to the point where I was enjoying the journey. This concept had been one Jeremy had mentioned to me a few months ago, and at the time it wasn't something I was enjoying. Part of me was still focused on the destination, seeing the journey as an obstacle to be endured, rather than the main point of life. (You can read more of what I have come to see about this in a post I wrote on our group blog at: http://proverbs1824brothers.blogspot.com/2017/08/the-journey-by-will.html)
He asked me what my plan was for the next day, and I told him that my original plan had been to just scrap the weekend, but that I had realized that this experience was part of the process. I would head back very early, find my gear, and then spend the rest of the time I had set aside for the quest in the woods, seeing what God would say.
I headed home, set my alarm for 5:00 AM, I had to beat the sun up, and did another tick check (I really hate ticks and don't want any attaching themselves to my body, just in case you haven't picked up on that theme yet), and crawled into bed. I hadn't planned on sleeping in a bed that night, but in all honesty, I wasn't going to complain, it was pretty windy outside. I was tempted to get on my phone, check Facebook, and fall asleep to YouTube videos, but then I realized that I was still on the quest. The setting had changed, but God was still at work, and just because I was sleeping inside didn't give me permission to give in to time wasting distractions.
It was late, I was tired, and I had a very early start the next morning. I wasn't where I had planned to be, but I was right where God wanted me to be. In the morning I would begin to see more clearly what He had in store....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Monday, February 5, 2018
Now What?
I walked back and forth in the woods for I don't know how long, but no where near as long as I thought. I'm intelligent enough to know that it was stupid to keep wandering around in the dark with inadequate light, but not smart enough to plan ahead to avoid all of that. The question I now had on my mind was "Now what?" It wasn't super cold, it was only supposed to get down to the mid 60's that night, but I wasn't equipped to spend the night outside, I had so wisely left my pack, containing the gear that would have gotten me through the night, in the hammock that I now couldn't find. Fortunately, I was intelligent enough to grab my phone and take it with me, and so I decided to call my friend.
"Hey, I need you to come and get me. I can't find my hammock." Part of me was laughing internally, and I would have loved to see his face when he answered the phone. He told me it would be a few minutes, and I told him I'd take my time heading out. I made my way back to the main trail, and my first thought was, "Well this is shot." but then I caught myself, and corrected myself by realizing, "No, this is part of it." Had this been the previous year, I would have said let's just scrap it and forget the whole thing, but this was a new year, and a new me, and I saw the situation as part of what God was trying to say.
When I hung up the phone, all of my nervous tension vanished; I felt myself relax as peace took over. I began walking down the hill I had climbed twice that night, I really need to consider terrain more carefully for these quests, and when I got to the lake, I decided to take the long way around.
I've hiked this trail countless times, but never in the dark. The sky was a little overcast, but the moon gave enough light to see, and I know the path well, so I put my flashlight in my pocket and switched off my head lamp, walking beside the water in the dark. It was awesome. Hiking a familiar trail in an unfamiliar setting gave me a deeper sense of vulnerability than I have had. Again, don't try this at home, at any point I could have twisted my ankle on a root, fallen and hit my head on a tree, and then landed face down in the water, unconscious.
I got to the edge of the parking lot and waited. It took my friend longer to get there than I had expected, and more cars drove by than I was expecting to see. When he finally got there, I got in the passenger seat, and began to drive back to his house....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
"Hey, I need you to come and get me. I can't find my hammock." Part of me was laughing internally, and I would have loved to see his face when he answered the phone. He told me it would be a few minutes, and I told him I'd take my time heading out. I made my way back to the main trail, and my first thought was, "Well this is shot." but then I caught myself, and corrected myself by realizing, "No, this is part of it." Had this been the previous year, I would have said let's just scrap it and forget the whole thing, but this was a new year, and a new me, and I saw the situation as part of what God was trying to say.
When I hung up the phone, all of my nervous tension vanished; I felt myself relax as peace took over. I began walking down the hill I had climbed twice that night, I really need to consider terrain more carefully for these quests, and when I got to the lake, I decided to take the long way around.
I've hiked this trail countless times, but never in the dark. The sky was a little overcast, but the moon gave enough light to see, and I know the path well, so I put my flashlight in my pocket and switched off my head lamp, walking beside the water in the dark. It was awesome. Hiking a familiar trail in an unfamiliar setting gave me a deeper sense of vulnerability than I have had. Again, don't try this at home, at any point I could have twisted my ankle on a root, fallen and hit my head on a tree, and then landed face down in the water, unconscious.
I got to the edge of the parking lot and waited. It took my friend longer to get there than I had expected, and more cars drove by than I was expecting to see. When he finally got there, I got in the passenger seat, and began to drive back to his house....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Friday, February 2, 2018
Nighttime in the Woods
One thing about me is I'm very big on plans. Jeremy (one of my brothers from Pr.18.24 if you're unfamiliar with that blog) got me to take the Enneagram personality test, and my top trait is "I must be orderly/planned to survive" the test is pretty accurate. I was already a little thrown off because the plan had changed from meeting my friend at his house, to him meeting me at the drop off location. Initially I was ok with the change, but then it changed even more. The play didn't end on time, and he was later than we had planned. The sun was starting to go down, and I really felt like I had to get moving. I sent him a text letting him know the keys to my car were under the driver's floor mat, and I gave him the keypad code to get in, and told him I was heading into the woods.
Based on maps I had looked at, and my knowledge/experience with the area, I knew where I was headed. I started on a trail around the southern side of the lake I had sat by the previous year, and then onto a trail in the field behind it, that led back into the woods. I found a spot with a pretty clear path off of the trail and headed into the woods to find a two trees to set up my borrowed hammock between for the night.
I found a place that wasn't visible from the trail, and set up the hammock. It wasn't supposed to rain that night, just be a little windy, so I didn't set up the rain cover that my co-worker had included, a decision I would come to slightly regret. I managed to get everything set up ok, it's amazing how easy these hammocks are to use, I really need to get one for myself. I put my sleeping pad in, then put my backpack where my head would be to use as a pillow. I made sure everything that wasn't going to be in the hammock with me was organized, then did my tick check ritual and climbed in for the night.
The hammock wrapped around me, and immediately I felt comfortable. It had an attached bug net, so I'd have no issues with mosquitoes, and I began to wonder, "God what do you have to say to me this year?" As I laid there and listened, the nervous feeling I had been having since I left my house was not going away. I had asked my friend to text me when he had gotten my car, and I was still waiting for his text. I was getting worried for some reason, and I just couldn't relax. I decided to head back to the parking lot and wait for him to show up. This is where I began to ignore my basic instincts.
First off, I didn't take my pack. If I'm walking in the woods, I always have my pack, always. I didn't take it because I was coming right back; there was no need to grab it, walk to the parking lot, and walk back to just put it back in the hammock. It would be fine for the 10 minutes I was gone. I did grab my head lamp and flashlight, as well as my phone, and was getting ready to walk out. Typically, when I go to an area I'm not 100% familiar with, I'll open the map app on my phone and drop a pin where I've set up camp, or parked the car, just so I don't have any issues. For whatever reason, I ignored the instinct to do this. I had my lights, and it wasn't going to be that hard getting back.
I got back on the main trail and headed for the parking lot. I had texted my friend telling him that I would meet him by my car, and ended up waiting another 10-15 minutes for him to get there. When he finally made it we talked for a few minutes, and he asked me if I was ok, obviously my outward nervousness was evident, and I told him I just wanted to get back to my hammock. He prayed for me and then we set a time for him to meet me the next day. I headed back into the woods, the light quickly disappearing, and made my way back to camp.
I got back to the spot where I had left the main trail and headed into the woods. I had forgotten how quickly it gets dark inside the trees, and how dark it actually gets in the trees. (I feel like I again need to say, don't try this at home. don't go wandering alone in the woods at night, you could get seriously lost and potentially even die, so don't follow this example of my stupidity). I had my head lamp on, but it was my cheap one, so it really didn't do all that much. I walked past trees I remembered and turned where I thought I had turned, but I didn't see the trees I had set my hammock up between. I had picked them because they stood out, but in the darkness, everything looks the same.
I walked back and forth among the trees, shining my lights in every direction, really wishing I had set up the orange rain cover, but it was no use, I couldn't find the hammock....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Based on maps I had looked at, and my knowledge/experience with the area, I knew where I was headed. I started on a trail around the southern side of the lake I had sat by the previous year, and then onto a trail in the field behind it, that led back into the woods. I found a spot with a pretty clear path off of the trail and headed into the woods to find a two trees to set up my borrowed hammock between for the night.
I found a place that wasn't visible from the trail, and set up the hammock. It wasn't supposed to rain that night, just be a little windy, so I didn't set up the rain cover that my co-worker had included, a decision I would come to slightly regret. I managed to get everything set up ok, it's amazing how easy these hammocks are to use, I really need to get one for myself. I put my sleeping pad in, then put my backpack where my head would be to use as a pillow. I made sure everything that wasn't going to be in the hammock with me was organized, then did my tick check ritual and climbed in for the night.
The hammock wrapped around me, and immediately I felt comfortable. It had an attached bug net, so I'd have no issues with mosquitoes, and I began to wonder, "God what do you have to say to me this year?" As I laid there and listened, the nervous feeling I had been having since I left my house was not going away. I had asked my friend to text me when he had gotten my car, and I was still waiting for his text. I was getting worried for some reason, and I just couldn't relax. I decided to head back to the parking lot and wait for him to show up. This is where I began to ignore my basic instincts.
First off, I didn't take my pack. If I'm walking in the woods, I always have my pack, always. I didn't take it because I was coming right back; there was no need to grab it, walk to the parking lot, and walk back to just put it back in the hammock. It would be fine for the 10 minutes I was gone. I did grab my head lamp and flashlight, as well as my phone, and was getting ready to walk out. Typically, when I go to an area I'm not 100% familiar with, I'll open the map app on my phone and drop a pin where I've set up camp, or parked the car, just so I don't have any issues. For whatever reason, I ignored the instinct to do this. I had my lights, and it wasn't going to be that hard getting back.
I got back on the main trail and headed for the parking lot. I had texted my friend telling him that I would meet him by my car, and ended up waiting another 10-15 minutes for him to get there. When he finally made it we talked for a few minutes, and he asked me if I was ok, obviously my outward nervousness was evident, and I told him I just wanted to get back to my hammock. He prayed for me and then we set a time for him to meet me the next day. I headed back into the woods, the light quickly disappearing, and made my way back to camp.
I got back to the spot where I had left the main trail and headed into the woods. I had forgotten how quickly it gets dark inside the trees, and how dark it actually gets in the trees. (I feel like I again need to say, don't try this at home. don't go wandering alone in the woods at night, you could get seriously lost and potentially even die, so don't follow this example of my stupidity). I had my head lamp on, but it was my cheap one, so it really didn't do all that much. I walked past trees I remembered and turned where I thought I had turned, but I didn't see the trees I had set my hammock up between. I had picked them because they stood out, but in the darkness, everything looks the same.
I walked back and forth among the trees, shining my lights in every direction, really wishing I had set up the orange rain cover, but it was no use, I couldn't find the hammock....
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
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