Learning your identity is a crucial first step, but it's only a step. You can know who you are and still fail to do anything with it. This realization led me to study 1 Peter 5.1-11 intensively, as well as sharing my name and it's meaning with my brothers, before taking a pledge I had written, challenging myself to be who God had called me to be.
However, the thing that really led me to realize the need to embrace identity came from the second Bible story I focused on throughout this process. Below is more of what will be in my book, so again, no one take it.
Samson was a judge of Israel, blessed with divine strength so that he could free his people from their Philistine oppressors. This was a man who was so gifted, but who wasted his gift and never lived out his calling. It's a tragic story with a depressing ending that I don't want to emulate at all. The saddest part is that the tragedy of Samson could have been avoided had he embraced his God given identity.
Samson was given an identity from God before he was born. "Then the angel of the Lord appeared to the woman and said to her, 'Behold now, you are barren and have borne no children, but you shall conceive and give birth to a son. Now therefore, be careful not to drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing. For behold, you shall conceive and give birth to a son, and no razor shall come upon his head, for the boy shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel from the hands of the Philistines.'" (Judges 13.3-5)
Before his birth, before his parents even knew about him, Samson was given an identity from God. He was to be a Nazirite, set apart for God, who would deliver Israel from their enemies. He would grow up knowing who God had said he was, and why God had put him on this earth. He knew who he was and what he was here to accomplish without ever doing anything. But the story of Samson goes beyond that, and before he ever had to fight a Philistine, God showed him that he had what it took to do so.
"Then Samson went down to Timnah with his father and mother, and came as far as the vineyards of Timnah; and behold, a young lion came roaring toward him. The Spirit of the Lord came upon him mightily, so that he tore him as one tears a young goat though he had nothing in his hand; but he did not tell his father or mother what he had done." (Judges 14.5-6)
On his way to Timnah to meet his future bride, Samson is attacked by a lion. In a moment when most people would panic (to say the least) Samson, empowered by God, steps up and tears the lion apart with his bare hands. God had not only given him a clear identity, but the tools to live out that identity. He had it all, and he wasted it.
"But he did not know that the Lord had departed from him. 21 Then the Philistines seized him and gouged out his eyes; and they brought him down to Gaza and bound him with bronze chains, and he was a grinder in the prison... Then Samson called to the Lord and said, 'O Lord God, please remember me and please strengthen me just this time, O God, that I may at once be avenged of the Philistines for my two eyes.' Samson grasped the two middle pillars on which the house rested, and braced himself against them, the one with his right hand and the other with his left. And Samson said, 'Let me die with the Philistines!' And he bent with all his might so that the house fell on the lords and all the people who were in it. So the dead whom he killed at his death were more than those whom he killed in his life. " (Judges 16.20a-21, 28-30)
Samson wasted his gift, and his death accomplished more than his life. He died with the enemies he should have driven out of the land. This guy had it all, but he refused to embrace who God created him to be.
Let us not commit the same error as Samson. Let's not wast our lives, but let us instead embrace our identity so that we can fully live out who God has called us to be.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
To My Readers...
I want to apologize to you all for the inconsistent nature of my posting over the past few weeks. My life has seen some unexpected complications related to the divorce and custody of my two girls, all of which is being needlessly dragged out. My focus has continued to be on being a good dad and doing what is best for my princesses. I would appreciate your prayers for me and them as we navigate through this, and hopefully come to a final conclusion, I really don't want to keep fighting this battle until my youngest is 18, but I'm prepared to if that's what it's going to take.
On top of this, I'm nearing the end of grad school. For the past four years I have been working on completing two Master's degrees. I finished my first one in June of 2017, and am in my second to last semester for my second one, finishing this upcoming May. With this, I'm also starting to look at the future, post graduate work is part of the plan, and I'm trying to nail down my doctoral thesis topic, as well as trying to figure out what my career looks like after grad school.
Due to all of this, my posting has not been following the pattern that I have set over this past year, and I want to apologize for that. My hope is that starting tomorrow I will be back on the normal schedule.
Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read what I write, I am deeply touched that there are people all around the world who care about what a guy in America has to say. I hope that God uses what He gives me to share to touch your lives so that you can come to a deeper understanding of who He is and who you are as a result of that.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
On top of this, I'm nearing the end of grad school. For the past four years I have been working on completing two Master's degrees. I finished my first one in June of 2017, and am in my second to last semester for my second one, finishing this upcoming May. With this, I'm also starting to look at the future, post graduate work is part of the plan, and I'm trying to nail down my doctoral thesis topic, as well as trying to figure out what my career looks like after grad school.
Due to all of this, my posting has not been following the pattern that I have set over this past year, and I want to apologize for that. My hope is that starting tomorrow I will be back on the normal schedule.
Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read what I write, I am deeply touched that there are people all around the world who care about what a guy in America has to say. I hope that God uses what He gives me to share to touch your lives so that you can come to a deeper understanding of who He is and who you are as a result of that.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Monday, October 29, 2018
Where Do You Draw Your Identity?
As I began this search for my identity I had to first begin by looking at the things I had let define me. I'm going to share part of what's going in my book, so no one take my concept. In the book of Daniel so many things were against him, so many things tried to define him.
He was carried off from Israel to Babylon, he was refugee.
The Babylonians changed his name, educated him in Babylonian language and customs, and they tried to change his diet, he was forced to adapt another culture contrary to the covenant God had called him to.
Kings sought his counsel, one even bowed before him in worship, and he continued to advance in his career, he was successful in his profession.
Daniel had countless opportunities to let his circumstances define him. He could have fallen into a victim mentality after being forced form him home land, but he didn't. He could have compromised his integrity, fully embracing the Babylonian culture, but he didn't. He could have given in to pride, basking in the glory his success had brought him, but he didn't. If Daniel had, his life would have looked very different, and we probably wouldn't know his name, or at least we wouldn't count him as a hero of the faith.
In everything Daniel did, he never forgot God. This was so evident that even his peers knew that the only way they could find fault with him was in terms of his relationship with God. "Then the commissioners and satraps began trying to find a ground of accusation against Daniel in regard to government affairs; but they could find no ground of accusation or evidence of corruption, inasmuch as he was faithful, and no negligence or corruption was to be found in him. Then these men said, 'We will not find any ground of accusation against this Daniel unless we find it against him with regard to the law of his God.'" (Dan. 6.4-5)
It was because of God that Daniel didn't allow his identity to be shaped by his circumstances. And it is because Daniel's identity was rooted in God that he was able to endure the most difficult trial of his life.
"Then the king gave orders, and Daniel was brought in and cast into the lions’ den. The king spoke and said to Daniel, 'Your God whom you constantly serve will Himself deliver you.' A stone was brought and laid over the mouth of the den; and the king sealed it with his own signet ring and with the signet rings of his nobles, so that nothing would be changed in regard to Daniel." (Dan. 6.16-17)
Daniel's refusal to embrace a false identity caused jealousy among his peers, and it resulted in him being thrown into the lion's den. But because his identity was rooted in God, God delivered him.
"Then Daniel spoke to the king, 'O king, live forever! My God sent His angel and shut the lions’ mouths and they have not harmed me, inasmuch as I was found innocent before Him; and also toward you, O king, I have committed no crime.' Then the king was very pleased and gave orders for Daniel to be taken up out of the den. So Daniel was taken up out of the den and no injury whatever was found on him, because he had trusted in his God." (Dan. 6.21-23)
When your identity is rooted in God, your circumstances can't define you. In success and failure, ease and hardship, you're foundation is consistent. And when you enter the lion's den, you will not be consumed because God will shut the mouths of the lions.
Where are you drawing your identity?
For more, watch for my book, coming ?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
He was carried off from Israel to Babylon, he was refugee.
The Babylonians changed his name, educated him in Babylonian language and customs, and they tried to change his diet, he was forced to adapt another culture contrary to the covenant God had called him to.
Kings sought his counsel, one even bowed before him in worship, and he continued to advance in his career, he was successful in his profession.
Daniel had countless opportunities to let his circumstances define him. He could have fallen into a victim mentality after being forced form him home land, but he didn't. He could have compromised his integrity, fully embracing the Babylonian culture, but he didn't. He could have given in to pride, basking in the glory his success had brought him, but he didn't. If Daniel had, his life would have looked very different, and we probably wouldn't know his name, or at least we wouldn't count him as a hero of the faith.
In everything Daniel did, he never forgot God. This was so evident that even his peers knew that the only way they could find fault with him was in terms of his relationship with God. "Then the commissioners and satraps began trying to find a ground of accusation against Daniel in regard to government affairs; but they could find no ground of accusation or evidence of corruption, inasmuch as he was faithful, and no negligence or corruption was to be found in him. Then these men said, 'We will not find any ground of accusation against this Daniel unless we find it against him with regard to the law of his God.'" (Dan. 6.4-5)
It was because of God that Daniel didn't allow his identity to be shaped by his circumstances. And it is because Daniel's identity was rooted in God that he was able to endure the most difficult trial of his life.
"Then the king gave orders, and Daniel was brought in and cast into the lions’ den. The king spoke and said to Daniel, 'Your God whom you constantly serve will Himself deliver you.' A stone was brought and laid over the mouth of the den; and the king sealed it with his own signet ring and with the signet rings of his nobles, so that nothing would be changed in regard to Daniel." (Dan. 6.16-17)
Daniel's refusal to embrace a false identity caused jealousy among his peers, and it resulted in him being thrown into the lion's den. But because his identity was rooted in God, God delivered him.
"Then Daniel spoke to the king, 'O king, live forever! My God sent His angel and shut the lions’ mouths and they have not harmed me, inasmuch as I was found innocent before Him; and also toward you, O king, I have committed no crime.' Then the king was very pleased and gave orders for Daniel to be taken up out of the den. So Daniel was taken up out of the den and no injury whatever was found on him, because he had trusted in his God." (Dan. 6.21-23)
When your identity is rooted in God, your circumstances can't define you. In success and failure, ease and hardship, you're foundation is consistent. And when you enter the lion's den, you will not be consumed because God will shut the mouths of the lions.
Where are you drawing your identity?
For more, watch for my book, coming ?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Friday, October 26, 2018
Finding the Meaning of My Name
I had learned my name, and God had reinforced that identity over and over, but even thought I had that, something was still missing. For years I have been drawn to two movie scenes, one from Gladiator and one from Secondhand Lions, both where men tell an adversary who they are. These scenes involve more than just sharing their name, but what that name meant, who they really were. I've been drawn to these scenes because of what they convey, and I have always wanted a name like that. A name that tells of who I am at my core.
A name like that only comes from trail and hardship, suffering and healing, something that I hadn't really experienced until a few years ago. Meaning comes out of how we respond to everything that has taken place, and defines how we are seeking to live moving forward. The search for my name was part of a ceremony that would be held at an annual men's retreat I lead, you can read about these and see insights from my brothers at http://proverbs1824brothers.blogspot.com/. The focus we've had since our first retreat in 2015 has been on becoming the men God created us to be.
The ceremony was something that I needed, had longed for for so long, it was that confirmation of identity, a calling to something bigger, and validation from those I'm doing life with. I had my name, but I knew that for this ceremony I needed more, I needed to be able share what that meant. I needed to say who I had been, what God had done, and who I was now as a result.
As I had been learning my name a common theme kept coming up, which is ultimately how I discovered the identity God had given me, and in that He gave me a Scriptural foundation. I close every post with the same phrase, "Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11" and the reason for this is that 1 Peter 5.1-11 is the passage God gave me. Earlier this year I spent several months breaking down this passage of Scripture, going phrase by phrase, and examining what it meant. I found five key themes in these verses, and from those themes began to understand what it meant to claim the identity God had given me.
My name came from God, and the meaning of that name came from Scripture. On June 9, 2018 I shared that name with my brothers, and then I took a pledge that I had written based out of what God had revealed to me from 1 Peter 5.1-11. I had a name, and I know what embracing that name entails.
Who does God say that you are? What name does He know you by?
What does Scripture say about your name?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
A name like that only comes from trail and hardship, suffering and healing, something that I hadn't really experienced until a few years ago. Meaning comes out of how we respond to everything that has taken place, and defines how we are seeking to live moving forward. The search for my name was part of a ceremony that would be held at an annual men's retreat I lead, you can read about these and see insights from my brothers at http://proverbs1824brothers.blogspot.com/. The focus we've had since our first retreat in 2015 has been on becoming the men God created us to be.
The ceremony was something that I needed, had longed for for so long, it was that confirmation of identity, a calling to something bigger, and validation from those I'm doing life with. I had my name, but I knew that for this ceremony I needed more, I needed to be able share what that meant. I needed to say who I had been, what God had done, and who I was now as a result.
As I had been learning my name a common theme kept coming up, which is ultimately how I discovered the identity God had given me, and in that He gave me a Scriptural foundation. I close every post with the same phrase, "Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11" and the reason for this is that 1 Peter 5.1-11 is the passage God gave me. Earlier this year I spent several months breaking down this passage of Scripture, going phrase by phrase, and examining what it meant. I found five key themes in these verses, and from those themes began to understand what it meant to claim the identity God had given me.
My name came from God, and the meaning of that name came from Scripture. On June 9, 2018 I shared that name with my brothers, and then I took a pledge that I had written based out of what God had revealed to me from 1 Peter 5.1-11. I had a name, and I know what embracing that name entails.
Who does God say that you are? What name does He know you by?
What does Scripture say about your name?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
How I Learned My Name
The day before my oldest daughter turned one I was reading the story of Samson as part of a blog project I was working on. As I read the story it stood out to me in a new way, and I couldn't move past the details. This caused me to begin looking for similar stories throughout the Bible, and I ended up finding two others. These stories began to fascinate me like they never had before. I noticed the similarities and differences; I focused on what was unique and began to look at how these all fit together.
The next day when I took my daughter to the doctor for her one year check up, and a shot (watching my princess get a shot breaks my heart because it's necessary pain but it's still pain). Afterwards we had some time to kill so we just went and walked around the mall. I'm not a huge fan of the mall, but it was March in northeast Ohio, so it was the best option for walking. We went into the book store, I don't know why but book stores are something I enjoy even though I don't buy any books from them usually, but as we were there I noticed that one of my favorite author's, John Eldredge, had a new book out. The title of the book directly corresponded with what I had read in the Bible the previous day. I looked to heaven and said to God, "You're trying to tell me something aren't You?"
At this point I decided that I needed to explore this a little more. There was something going on, something God was trying to tell me. At first I thought it was just a cool idea, something that would make an interesting couple blog posts, maybe a future sermon series, possibly even a book (this third option is where I've landed, thus the reason I'm being so vague. I've started to actually write it but life has happened and I'm reduced to a lot of note taking and processing.)
I went home and began to explore this idea over the next few days, getting really excited about it, and even sharing the idea with some of my closest friends. Over the next few months the idea didn't fade, but just kept growing in intensity and clarity, and I began to feel that God was trying to give me more than just a writing topic. I began to realize that God was telling me my name.
The final realization I had was when God told me to buy a sword. I had bought a replica Spartan shield years earlier. I had always wanted one, and then I found an insane deal on one, and my ex-wife wasn't around to tell me not to, so for my birthday that year I bought myself a shield. At that time I was still trying to fight for my marriage, trying to bring about restoration, and I would hold my shield up, get in a battle stance, and pray against Satan. One time when I did this, I felt that I was being mocked because I didn't have a sword. At the time I couldn't afford one, and I'm not big on collecting stuff so I had never planned on getting one, but a few years later I felt that God was leading me to buy a sword. I went back and forth with Him on this, because I really didn't have extra money, but He wouldn't leave me alone about it, and so I began to look, and I found a Lakonia short sword, also on sale, and got ready to purchase it.
I got it sharpened, there was no question about that, if a sword isn't sharp it's not a sword. This does make displaying it tricky at this point since my girls are so young, it ends up packed away on top of a closet so they don't accidentally find it, but one day I'll be able to display it with my shield. The other option it gave me was for engraving initials. I wasn't going to put my own initials on there, and at that point God had been leading me in the direction of my real name, my true identity from Him, and the final leading I got was to put those initials on there. I was hesitant to do this, but I couldn't get past the sense that I needed to, and so I did.
I know I'm being vague on a lot with this, and I'm sorry. I go back and forth with how much of my personal story to share, just because it is so deeply meaningful to me, and it's still very fresh. So much of this is only known to my group brothers and the few men who have walked through the past few years with me. This past weekend I shared it in detail with someone outside of that circle for the first time, and that was good.
Summing up, God revealed my name to me by making a familiar Bible story stand out in an unfamiliar way. It was something He kept bringing up to me, and something that really stirred my heart. The initials I put on my sword would become the name that went on my dog tags, and it's the name reveals who God says I am.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
I'm sorry that this is being posted later in the day, it's been a weird week and I've been strangely unmotivated and kind of uninspired. Blogs will still be posted Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and hopefully I'm back to the original schedule time wise by next week.
The next day when I took my daughter to the doctor for her one year check up, and a shot (watching my princess get a shot breaks my heart because it's necessary pain but it's still pain). Afterwards we had some time to kill so we just went and walked around the mall. I'm not a huge fan of the mall, but it was March in northeast Ohio, so it was the best option for walking. We went into the book store, I don't know why but book stores are something I enjoy even though I don't buy any books from them usually, but as we were there I noticed that one of my favorite author's, John Eldredge, had a new book out. The title of the book directly corresponded with what I had read in the Bible the previous day. I looked to heaven and said to God, "You're trying to tell me something aren't You?"
At this point I decided that I needed to explore this a little more. There was something going on, something God was trying to tell me. At first I thought it was just a cool idea, something that would make an interesting couple blog posts, maybe a future sermon series, possibly even a book (this third option is where I've landed, thus the reason I'm being so vague. I've started to actually write it but life has happened and I'm reduced to a lot of note taking and processing.)
I went home and began to explore this idea over the next few days, getting really excited about it, and even sharing the idea with some of my closest friends. Over the next few months the idea didn't fade, but just kept growing in intensity and clarity, and I began to feel that God was trying to give me more than just a writing topic. I began to realize that God was telling me my name.
The final realization I had was when God told me to buy a sword. I had bought a replica Spartan shield years earlier. I had always wanted one, and then I found an insane deal on one, and my ex-wife wasn't around to tell me not to, so for my birthday that year I bought myself a shield. At that time I was still trying to fight for my marriage, trying to bring about restoration, and I would hold my shield up, get in a battle stance, and pray against Satan. One time when I did this, I felt that I was being mocked because I didn't have a sword. At the time I couldn't afford one, and I'm not big on collecting stuff so I had never planned on getting one, but a few years later I felt that God was leading me to buy a sword. I went back and forth with Him on this, because I really didn't have extra money, but He wouldn't leave me alone about it, and so I began to look, and I found a Lakonia short sword, also on sale, and got ready to purchase it.
I got it sharpened, there was no question about that, if a sword isn't sharp it's not a sword. This does make displaying it tricky at this point since my girls are so young, it ends up packed away on top of a closet so they don't accidentally find it, but one day I'll be able to display it with my shield. The other option it gave me was for engraving initials. I wasn't going to put my own initials on there, and at that point God had been leading me in the direction of my real name, my true identity from Him, and the final leading I got was to put those initials on there. I was hesitant to do this, but I couldn't get past the sense that I needed to, and so I did.
I know I'm being vague on a lot with this, and I'm sorry. I go back and forth with how much of my personal story to share, just because it is so deeply meaningful to me, and it's still very fresh. So much of this is only known to my group brothers and the few men who have walked through the past few years with me. This past weekend I shared it in detail with someone outside of that circle for the first time, and that was good.
Summing up, God revealed my name to me by making a familiar Bible story stand out in an unfamiliar way. It was something He kept bringing up to me, and something that really stirred my heart. The initials I put on my sword would become the name that went on my dog tags, and it's the name reveals who God says I am.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
I'm sorry that this is being posted later in the day, it's been a weird week and I've been strangely unmotivated and kind of uninspired. Blogs will still be posted Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and hopefully I'm back to the original schedule time wise by next week.
Monday, October 22, 2018
New Name
"He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, to him I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, and a new name written on the stone which no one knows but he who receives it." Revelation 2.17
There is a name that God knows you by. It isn't the name your parents gave you. It isn't anything that those who seek to tear you down have labeled you with. It isn't anything destructive or self critical you've come to believe about yourself. God has a name He knows you by. It is the name He gave to you when He created you. It is a name the reveals who you really are.
God has a name for you, a name that He personally wants to bestow upon you. This name is one that can only come from God because only God knows it. God wants to tell you what your name is. And I know this might sound crazy, it might sound like a spiritual fantasy that is disconnected from reality, but it isn't. I've experienced this, I've read and talked to others who have experienced this, and I'm currently working with others who are in the process of discovering this.
God knows you by your true name. This name speaks of what you were put on this world to do. It is reveals the characteristics you are called to embody, and it points to the destiny God has put you here to accomplish. If we will be bold enough to seek the identity God has for us, bold enough to to pursue it, embracing the trials and hardships of life, God will bestow upon us a new name, our true name.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
There is a name that God knows you by. It isn't the name your parents gave you. It isn't anything that those who seek to tear you down have labeled you with. It isn't anything destructive or self critical you've come to believe about yourself. God has a name He knows you by. It is the name He gave to you when He created you. It is a name the reveals who you really are.
God has a name for you, a name that He personally wants to bestow upon you. This name is one that can only come from God because only God knows it. God wants to tell you what your name is. And I know this might sound crazy, it might sound like a spiritual fantasy that is disconnected from reality, but it isn't. I've experienced this, I've read and talked to others who have experienced this, and I'm currently working with others who are in the process of discovering this.
God knows you by your true name. This name speaks of what you were put on this world to do. It is reveals the characteristics you are called to embody, and it points to the destiny God has put you here to accomplish. If we will be bold enough to seek the identity God has for us, bold enough to to pursue it, embracing the trials and hardships of life, God will bestow upon us a new name, our true name.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Friday, October 19, 2018
Finding Your Identity, Question 2
After the wounds have been dealt with, the false identities have been identified, we're ready to begin finding our real identity. Before we can hear from God we've got to clear out all of the lies and distractions fighting for our attention. I love the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19.
"So He said, 'Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord.' And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave." (1 Kings 19.11-13a)
This event takes place immediately after Elijah's showdown with the prophets of Ba'al on Mount Carmel. God showed up in a mighty way, fire from heaven to consume a soaking wet sacrifice, stones, and a pool of water surrounding it, and then he kills the pagan prophets (I've been using the word pagan a lot recently as it relates to a paper I'm writing for grad school on Old Testament Genocide). The queen, Jezebel, isn't happy and threatens his life, so he books it to Sinai, where God meets him.
God speaks and tells Elijah that He's going to pass by the cave. Three signs of devastating power natural power occur. First a wind that shatters the rocks, but God's not there. Then there's an earthquake which shakes the foundation of the mountain, but God's not there. Then a fire that consumes the vegetation, but God isn't there. Elijah's last experience with God was a mighty display of power, a lot of Elijah's encounters with God were mighty displays of power, but he knew God intimately and personally, and was able to distinguish God's voice from all of the distractions. When we identify the lies that seek to define us, we are able to able to clearly and distinctly hear from God.
Jesus asked His disciples two questions at Caesarea Philippi, "Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, 'Who do people say that the Son of Man is?' And they said, 'Some say John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; but still others, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets.' He said to them, 'But who do you say that I am?'" (Matthew 16.13-15)
The first question looked at the world, people who had heard stories and seen His miracles, but didn't have a deep, personal relationship with Him. The second question was directed at those who were closest to Him, the ones hand picked by Him for intentional, small group style, relational community. These men knew Him on a deeper level than just what He could do, but who He was, and so Jesus asks them "But who do you say that I am?" Again, this isn't Jesus seeking His identity from His followers, He's already gotten that from God, but the principle I'm aiming at here is that we need to direct this question at the one who knows us most intimately, God.
After we have identified the false identities given to us by the world, the ways people have tired to shape our lives, and the things we have come to believe about ourselves as a result, we're able to take the question to God and hear from Him. We've identified the lies of the wind, the misdirection of the earthquake, and the destructive self image of the first, and we're ready to hear the still small voice of God.
Ask God, "Who do you say that I am?"
It can be scary. Elijah covered his face before going out to meet God. For me, I was afraid to ask God, I've gotten really into the enneagram recently (more on this to come sometime in the future on one of the blogs, most likely), but as a type 1 part of my focus is on needing to earn everything, striving for perfection and an ideal, and so being vulnerable to ask God what He thought was scary because there's this fear of not being good enough. But God didn't disappoint Elijah, He didn't let me down, and He won't forsake you.
Identifying the wounds is difficult, it's scary and uncomfortable, and honestly it can hurt. But God is a healer, and if there is pain He causes, it's pain that leads to full healing. God is not malicious, He doesn't cause pain because He enjoys watching us suffer, everything He does is about bringing restoration (more from my paper on OT Genocide).
Identify the false identities and the wounds they caused, let God speak healing and validation into you, giving you your true name.
Who do people say you are?
Who does God say you are?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
"So He said, 'Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord.' And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave." (1 Kings 19.11-13a)
This event takes place immediately after Elijah's showdown with the prophets of Ba'al on Mount Carmel. God showed up in a mighty way, fire from heaven to consume a soaking wet sacrifice, stones, and a pool of water surrounding it, and then he kills the pagan prophets (I've been using the word pagan a lot recently as it relates to a paper I'm writing for grad school on Old Testament Genocide). The queen, Jezebel, isn't happy and threatens his life, so he books it to Sinai, where God meets him.
God speaks and tells Elijah that He's going to pass by the cave. Three signs of devastating power natural power occur. First a wind that shatters the rocks, but God's not there. Then there's an earthquake which shakes the foundation of the mountain, but God's not there. Then a fire that consumes the vegetation, but God isn't there. Elijah's last experience with God was a mighty display of power, a lot of Elijah's encounters with God were mighty displays of power, but he knew God intimately and personally, and was able to distinguish God's voice from all of the distractions. When we identify the lies that seek to define us, we are able to able to clearly and distinctly hear from God.
Jesus asked His disciples two questions at Caesarea Philippi, "Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, 'Who do people say that the Son of Man is?' And they said, 'Some say John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; but still others, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets.' He said to them, 'But who do you say that I am?'" (Matthew 16.13-15)
The first question looked at the world, people who had heard stories and seen His miracles, but didn't have a deep, personal relationship with Him. The second question was directed at those who were closest to Him, the ones hand picked by Him for intentional, small group style, relational community. These men knew Him on a deeper level than just what He could do, but who He was, and so Jesus asks them "But who do you say that I am?" Again, this isn't Jesus seeking His identity from His followers, He's already gotten that from God, but the principle I'm aiming at here is that we need to direct this question at the one who knows us most intimately, God.
After we have identified the false identities given to us by the world, the ways people have tired to shape our lives, and the things we have come to believe about ourselves as a result, we're able to take the question to God and hear from Him. We've identified the lies of the wind, the misdirection of the earthquake, and the destructive self image of the first, and we're ready to hear the still small voice of God.
Ask God, "Who do you say that I am?"
It can be scary. Elijah covered his face before going out to meet God. For me, I was afraid to ask God, I've gotten really into the enneagram recently (more on this to come sometime in the future on one of the blogs, most likely), but as a type 1 part of my focus is on needing to earn everything, striving for perfection and an ideal, and so being vulnerable to ask God what He thought was scary because there's this fear of not being good enough. But God didn't disappoint Elijah, He didn't let me down, and He won't forsake you.
Identifying the wounds is difficult, it's scary and uncomfortable, and honestly it can hurt. But God is a healer, and if there is pain He causes, it's pain that leads to full healing. God is not malicious, He doesn't cause pain because He enjoys watching us suffer, everything He does is about bringing restoration (more from my paper on OT Genocide).
Identify the false identities and the wounds they caused, let God speak healing and validation into you, giving you your true name.
Who do people say you are?
Who does God say you are?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
Finding Your Identity, Question 1
The search for identity begins by identifying the false identities you have been given. Before we can build something stable, we have to clear away the debris in the way. Before a scar can from, a wound needs to be cleaned. I order to find our true identity, we begin by clearing away the false identities that we've been given.
These identities can come from anyone, and from an intent to cause harm or an attempt to protect. False identities can be dealt with the best intentions, or the most malicious. The school bully can give you a false identity, and so can a loving grandmother. The search for identity begins by discovering what is false, and how we have owned and believed what is false.
To find answers we have to ask questions, it's the reality of the world we live in. In reading the Gospels I believe I have found the questions we need to ask, and they come directly from Jesus. In Matthew 16 Jesus is in Northern Israel at Caesarea Philippi (Pictures below form my trip in 2009), and He is asking His disciples about His identity. This isn't for His sake, He knows His identity, it was bestowed by the Father at His baptism and affirmed through His time in the wilderness (Matthew 3 and 4), but here He's trying to see if they grasp who He is. He asks them two questions, and these two questions are the ones we need to ask ourselves if we would know our true identity.
"Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, 'Who do people say that the Son of Man is?'" (Matt. 16.13)
Jesus asks His disciples, "What does the world say about me?" And that is the first question we need to ask ourselves. Who do people say that I am?
What have people said about you?
Who have people tried to make you?
What do you believe about yourself as a result?
All of these things serve to form our false identity. People try to tear us down, they try to make us believe things about ourselves that are unhealthy and destructive. Sometimes it's because people just suck (yeah I said that, and yeah it's completely true), in addition to this people are just mean (and yes, those are two distinct descriptions, but don't ask me for clarification right now), the rest of the time people are just insecure about their own identity and they build their false identity by making other people insecure about their identity (95% of the time this is the case, so let's show some grace to people). People give us labels that aren't us, but sometimes these labels stick, and we begin to believe them, thinking less of ourselves, or even more highly of ourselves than we should. (I recommend Max Lucado's book You Are Special it's fantastic imagery of this)
People also try to direct us, pointing us in the direction we should go, and in following their plans we can sacrifice who we really are. I think this is how your grandma gives you a false identity, she tells you to be a doctor so you do, but you really don't want to be a doctor, but you do it to make grandma happy. You can embrace a false identity by following someone else's desires for your life. And again, this may come with the best intentions, people who care about you and just want what's best for you, but it still is an identity from the world.
Finally, what do you believe about yourself based on the answers to the above. Do you believe what the bully said about you high school (or what your co-worker said to you last Thursday)? Did you follow grandma's dream for your life? What do you believe about you? Do you see yourself as worthless or priceless? A pushover or powerful? Disposable or invaluable? Do you believe that you have something to offer that the world genuinely needs (you do)? What do you believe about yourself?
The first question we have to answer if we would know who we really are is what people say about us. This probably isn't going to be a fun conversation to have, some of the stuff I had to write down I really didn't want to, but when I did it was so freeing. Jordan Peterson says that we have to face the thing we least want to face, because that is where the deepest significance lies. We have to identify the wounds we've been given so that they can be healed.
If we would find our identity, we must first identify the false identities we have taken on.
Who do people say you are?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
These identities can come from anyone, and from an intent to cause harm or an attempt to protect. False identities can be dealt with the best intentions, or the most malicious. The school bully can give you a false identity, and so can a loving grandmother. The search for identity begins by discovering what is false, and how we have owned and believed what is false.
To find answers we have to ask questions, it's the reality of the world we live in. In reading the Gospels I believe I have found the questions we need to ask, and they come directly from Jesus. In Matthew 16 Jesus is in Northern Israel at Caesarea Philippi (Pictures below form my trip in 2009), and He is asking His disciples about His identity. This isn't for His sake, He knows His identity, it was bestowed by the Father at His baptism and affirmed through His time in the wilderness (Matthew 3 and 4), but here He's trying to see if they grasp who He is. He asks them two questions, and these two questions are the ones we need to ask ourselves if we would know our true identity.
"Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, 'Who do people say that the Son of Man is?'" (Matt. 16.13)
Jesus asks His disciples, "What does the world say about me?" And that is the first question we need to ask ourselves. Who do people say that I am?
What have people said about you?
Who have people tried to make you?
What do you believe about yourself as a result?
All of these things serve to form our false identity. People try to tear us down, they try to make us believe things about ourselves that are unhealthy and destructive. Sometimes it's because people just suck (yeah I said that, and yeah it's completely true), in addition to this people are just mean (and yes, those are two distinct descriptions, but don't ask me for clarification right now), the rest of the time people are just insecure about their own identity and they build their false identity by making other people insecure about their identity (95% of the time this is the case, so let's show some grace to people). People give us labels that aren't us, but sometimes these labels stick, and we begin to believe them, thinking less of ourselves, or even more highly of ourselves than we should. (I recommend Max Lucado's book You Are Special it's fantastic imagery of this)
People also try to direct us, pointing us in the direction we should go, and in following their plans we can sacrifice who we really are. I think this is how your grandma gives you a false identity, she tells you to be a doctor so you do, but you really don't want to be a doctor, but you do it to make grandma happy. You can embrace a false identity by following someone else's desires for your life. And again, this may come with the best intentions, people who care about you and just want what's best for you, but it still is an identity from the world.
Finally, what do you believe about yourself based on the answers to the above. Do you believe what the bully said about you high school (or what your co-worker said to you last Thursday)? Did you follow grandma's dream for your life? What do you believe about you? Do you see yourself as worthless or priceless? A pushover or powerful? Disposable or invaluable? Do you believe that you have something to offer that the world genuinely needs (you do)? What do you believe about yourself?
The first question we have to answer if we would know who we really are is what people say about us. This probably isn't going to be a fun conversation to have, some of the stuff I had to write down I really didn't want to, but when I did it was so freeing. Jordan Peterson says that we have to face the thing we least want to face, because that is where the deepest significance lies. We have to identify the wounds we've been given so that they can be healed.
If we would find our identity, we must first identify the false identities we have taken on.
Who do people say you are?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Monday, October 15, 2018
Identity, Why it Matters
Everyone who walks the face of the earth is searching for meaning. We need a purpose, and without one we merely exist, going through the motions of our day to day obligations, and longing for something more. The search for meaning in life is fruitless without the foundation of identity.
I spent so many years unsure about who I was. I looked for validation in my job, which is probably one of the big reasons I pursued a career as a professional minister now that I think about it. I looked for validation in relationships, which is probably why I didn't let people get close to me for so long. I don't think I ever fell into the trap of validation from possessions. But everything that I thought would give me meaning and purpose, ministry, marriage, influence, did nothing but to fulfill me. It wasn't until all of that got stripped away that I began to really seek out a solid founditional identity.
I graduated at the top of my class in college, with high encouragement from my professors about my gifting and potential. I've been let go from three churches, and haven't gotten a call about a ministry position in five years. The career peg of identity didn't do anything but stress me out and drain me. It sucked the life out of me prevented me from ministering well because I was too focused on the frustrating situations I was in that didn't give me meaning, purpose or validation.
I married a girl that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. She left just after we celebrated our four year anniversary. It would be easy to adopt this bitter and wounded label of "divorced" sulking in the failed relationship and broken covenant. But in the hurt of that trial, I began to realize that I wasn't defined by the success or failure of my marriage.
In both of these potentially defining aspects of my life, I've come to see that my identity does not hinge on either my career or my relationships, but that my career and relationships are defined by my identity.
Identity matters because it answers the most essential question of "Who am I?" Without this answer we can never go on to answer the bigger question of "Why am I here?" Identity is the foundation of everything we do, and if we don't have a solid, God-given identity, we spend our lives hopelessly trying to find meaning and fulfillment in things that have no power of validation.
It doesn't matter how good your job is, you can lose it in a heart beat. It doesn't matter how long you've been married, your spouse can leave at any time. It doesn't matter about how much wealth you've accumulated, all of that can be taken away at any time. If you're identity is built on these things, then it is a fragile thing that won't last when trials come. That's why people go through mid-life crises or commit suicide. There is no foundation for when the trials come, and when they do everything comes crashing down.
I've found this to be true in my own life. When the churches let me go it was rough. I was angry and bitter, and unsure about what to do next. My confidence was shaken, and I began to have a lot of doubt. When my marriage ended it messed me up. I couldn't function, had performance issues at work and trouble focusing at school. I'm not saying that these reactions aren't normal, even someone with a solid identity is going to be shaken by a life changing event like either of these things, but the reaction of a person with an identity is healthy and not destructive.
In Matthew 7 Jesus gives a parable of two men who built houses, one with a solid foundation of rock that withstood the storms that came, and one with an unstable foundation of sand which crumbled when the weather turned. This story marks the conclusion of the Sermon on the Mount, a message that seeks to redefine how we approach life. Jesus seeks to give each of us an identity, and that identity is meant to be the defining characteristic of our life that gives meaning and purpose to everything else.
Identity matters because it gives us the foundation for the trials we face.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
I spent so many years unsure about who I was. I looked for validation in my job, which is probably one of the big reasons I pursued a career as a professional minister now that I think about it. I looked for validation in relationships, which is probably why I didn't let people get close to me for so long. I don't think I ever fell into the trap of validation from possessions. But everything that I thought would give me meaning and purpose, ministry, marriage, influence, did nothing but to fulfill me. It wasn't until all of that got stripped away that I began to really seek out a solid founditional identity.
I graduated at the top of my class in college, with high encouragement from my professors about my gifting and potential. I've been let go from three churches, and haven't gotten a call about a ministry position in five years. The career peg of identity didn't do anything but stress me out and drain me. It sucked the life out of me prevented me from ministering well because I was too focused on the frustrating situations I was in that didn't give me meaning, purpose or validation.
I married a girl that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. She left just after we celebrated our four year anniversary. It would be easy to adopt this bitter and wounded label of "divorced" sulking in the failed relationship and broken covenant. But in the hurt of that trial, I began to realize that I wasn't defined by the success or failure of my marriage.
In both of these potentially defining aspects of my life, I've come to see that my identity does not hinge on either my career or my relationships, but that my career and relationships are defined by my identity.
Identity matters because it answers the most essential question of "Who am I?" Without this answer we can never go on to answer the bigger question of "Why am I here?" Identity is the foundation of everything we do, and if we don't have a solid, God-given identity, we spend our lives hopelessly trying to find meaning and fulfillment in things that have no power of validation.
It doesn't matter how good your job is, you can lose it in a heart beat. It doesn't matter how long you've been married, your spouse can leave at any time. It doesn't matter about how much wealth you've accumulated, all of that can be taken away at any time. If you're identity is built on these things, then it is a fragile thing that won't last when trials come. That's why people go through mid-life crises or commit suicide. There is no foundation for when the trials come, and when they do everything comes crashing down.
I've found this to be true in my own life. When the churches let me go it was rough. I was angry and bitter, and unsure about what to do next. My confidence was shaken, and I began to have a lot of doubt. When my marriage ended it messed me up. I couldn't function, had performance issues at work and trouble focusing at school. I'm not saying that these reactions aren't normal, even someone with a solid identity is going to be shaken by a life changing event like either of these things, but the reaction of a person with an identity is healthy and not destructive.
In Matthew 7 Jesus gives a parable of two men who built houses, one with a solid foundation of rock that withstood the storms that came, and one with an unstable foundation of sand which crumbled when the weather turned. This story marks the conclusion of the Sermon on the Mount, a message that seeks to redefine how we approach life. Jesus seeks to give each of us an identity, and that identity is meant to be the defining characteristic of our life that gives meaning and purpose to everything else.
Identity matters because it gives us the foundation for the trials we face.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Friday, October 12, 2018
Wounds, Healing, and the Future
In Wild at Heart, John Eldredge says, "I don’t trust a man who hasn’t suffered; I don’t let a man get close to me who hasn’t faced his wound." The first time I read this it really hit me. Eldredge is at the top of my list of people to meet. I've actually met someone who is on a first name basis with him, and he's told me that if he gets him to come to Cleveland he'll introduce me. Eldredge has has had a huge impact on my life, and I've never even met him. When I first read this quote it hit me. I had wounds, but I hadn't dealt with them. I was afraid to deal with them. I felt like I had no credibility in what I said because I hadn't experienced much of anything. I just existed.
I was forced to face my wounds, life fell apart and it was continue to spiral until you hit rock bottom, or wake up and begin to deal with things on the way down. I'm grateful that things didn't get any worse than they did. Over the past few months as I've shared about my wounds, I found it difficult to write about some of them. Part of me realized the role I had played in them, how I had let them go on for so long, and it was difficult to look at how I could have prevented things if I had been willing to look at the wounds.
At the same time, healing is so freeing. In the process of healing, God had shown me who I am, and that identity has given me direction for the future. If I had pursued healing sooner, what would my life look like? How much other junk could have been avoided if I had only been willing to pull off the band-aids and let God go to work?
The wounds I've identified are the big ones that have come to my mind, the main ones that have had the biggest influences on me. Writing about them, really processing them for the first time, has shown me some other areas that I need to look at. I've realized that though the main work is done on these five major wounds I've identified, there is still some rehab that God needs to do. There are other cuts that need some attention, and there is still healing that needs to take place.
As I look to the future I've wondered about new wounds that may come. I know who I am in Christ, I have an identity, a God-given name that no one can take from me. No matter what life may throw at me, I know what God has said to me. This identity is my foundation, my shield. There are always going to be those who try to wound us, those who want to inflict pain on us for one reason or another. There will always be those who try and tear us down, but we have the ability to withstand their assaults and escape unscathed.
What voice do you listen to as you move forward? The world will always try to define you, it will try and keep you from healing, try to stunt your growth, and try to keep you from hearing from God. But God will speak, amid all the chaos and lies of the enemy, God's still small voice is clearly heard, and that is the voice that matters.
We have a choice on which voice we listen to. If we listen to the world, we will be constantly debilitated by the wounds they inflict. Those wounds will become infected, spreading throughout our whole being, and ultimately destroy us. But if we choose to listen to the voice of God, letting Him define us, not only do we find healing, but we become resilient against future wounds.
"From my distress I called upon the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me in a large place. The Lord is for me; I will not fear; what can man do to me? The Lord is for me among those who help me; therefore I will look with satisfaction on those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes." Psalm 118.5-9
You are not defined by the wounds you have received, you are defined by who God says you are. I know this is true because it is what I have lived out, and I'm in a better place now than I ever have been before. As I look at the future, with my new scars, I look at what God is going to do in and through my life. The future holds more healing, and a life free from the pain and infection of wounds.
I am defined by God, not the wounds I used to carry.
I am defined by God, and the future is bright and full of hope.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
I was forced to face my wounds, life fell apart and it was continue to spiral until you hit rock bottom, or wake up and begin to deal with things on the way down. I'm grateful that things didn't get any worse than they did. Over the past few months as I've shared about my wounds, I found it difficult to write about some of them. Part of me realized the role I had played in them, how I had let them go on for so long, and it was difficult to look at how I could have prevented things if I had been willing to look at the wounds.
At the same time, healing is so freeing. In the process of healing, God had shown me who I am, and that identity has given me direction for the future. If I had pursued healing sooner, what would my life look like? How much other junk could have been avoided if I had only been willing to pull off the band-aids and let God go to work?
The wounds I've identified are the big ones that have come to my mind, the main ones that have had the biggest influences on me. Writing about them, really processing them for the first time, has shown me some other areas that I need to look at. I've realized that though the main work is done on these five major wounds I've identified, there is still some rehab that God needs to do. There are other cuts that need some attention, and there is still healing that needs to take place.
As I look to the future I've wondered about new wounds that may come. I know who I am in Christ, I have an identity, a God-given name that no one can take from me. No matter what life may throw at me, I know what God has said to me. This identity is my foundation, my shield. There are always going to be those who try to wound us, those who want to inflict pain on us for one reason or another. There will always be those who try and tear us down, but we have the ability to withstand their assaults and escape unscathed.
What voice do you listen to as you move forward? The world will always try to define you, it will try and keep you from healing, try to stunt your growth, and try to keep you from hearing from God. But God will speak, amid all the chaos and lies of the enemy, God's still small voice is clearly heard, and that is the voice that matters.
We have a choice on which voice we listen to. If we listen to the world, we will be constantly debilitated by the wounds they inflict. Those wounds will become infected, spreading throughout our whole being, and ultimately destroy us. But if we choose to listen to the voice of God, letting Him define us, not only do we find healing, but we become resilient against future wounds.
"From my distress I called upon the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me in a large place. The Lord is for me; I will not fear; what can man do to me? The Lord is for me among those who help me; therefore I will look with satisfaction on those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes." Psalm 118.5-9
You are not defined by the wounds you have received, you are defined by who God says you are. I know this is true because it is what I have lived out, and I'm in a better place now than I ever have been before. As I look at the future, with my new scars, I look at what God is going to do in and through my life. The future holds more healing, and a life free from the pain and infection of wounds.
I am defined by God, not the wounds I used to carry.
I am defined by God, and the future is bright and full of hope.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Wednesday, October 10, 2018
Lessons from My Healing
God is about healing and restoration. He makes a perfect world that humans screw up, and He immediately goes about the work of bringing about healing. The Old Testament tells the story of God's plan for the covenant that would culminate in the the death and resurrection of Jesus. The end of the Bible speaks of the future, when all things will be restored to what God originally intended. God is a god of healing and restoration.
The wounds you have are not who God intended you to be. He doesn't erase wounds from our past, but if we'll let Him, He will bring healing so they don't do any more harm. God loves to take wounds and turn them into scars because scars mean healing has taken place, and scars tell a great story (usually).
My own journey of healing has taught me a few things, and just like with my wounds, I want to share the lessons I've learned.
Healing doesn't happen by accident.
If we are going to find healing for our wounds, it has to be done intentionally. We have to begin by acknowledging that we have wounds, stop ignoring them hoping they'll go away because they won't, my doctor told me once, "Bad things don't go away." The only way to obtain healing is to go after it. For me, I intentionally revisited places where I had been wounded, and in doing this I discovered the real wound that needed to be healed. I had to write notes, make phone calls, I had to reach out to people and get vulnerable. Healing takes effort, and if we would experience healing, we must be willing to chase it.
Healing is accomplished by God.
We have to be intentional about pursuing healing, but we have to know that God is the one who brings healing. Genuine healing is not something that a counselor, a pastor, or a mentor can bring about (I'm not saying don't utilize these resources, I've personally used all three, sometimes all at the same time), but I am saying that these are all just people, and each of them has their own wounds. Healing is only found in God. He alone can deal with years, maybe decades, of ignored and infected pain, and bring about healing. If we would deal with our wounds, we must draw near to God.
Healing reveals who you were made to be.
It is through my own journey of healing that God has taught me who I am and why I'm here. It is through my healing that God has given me an identity and pointed me towards my destiny. The experiences of pain that I have had have served to show me what I care most about, the things that I'm passionate about, and they guide me to try and make a difference. Before I had encountered the healing power of God I feel like I just wandered aimlessly, hoping my wounds wouldn't be exposed, but once God had gone to work, I began to focus on what healing enabled me to do.
Healing gives credibility.
When a wound is healed it leaves a scar, and scars tell a story. Healing gives credibility because it shows you've been through some junk, maybe junk of your own causation but junk none the less. Scars show that you've not only been wounded, but that you've recovered, and the story of your scars is one that can impact lives. You can tell where you've been, tell what God did, and tell how you're different, and the scars prove your story is true.
Healing sets you free.
Wounds limit you. I've had physical wounds that kept me from competing while I was wrestling, and I've had spiritual wounds that have kept me from being fully effective in life. Wounds hold us back, but healing sets us free. When we experience healing we're free to live lives of passion. When you don't have to conceal a wound, your hands are free to do something great.
In John 5, Jesus asks a lame man who has spent every day for nearly four decades laying by the pool of Bethesda hoping for a miracle, "Do you wish to get well?" The question has an obvious answer, but Jesus gives people dignity, never forcing anything on them. Healing is offered, healing is possible, but healing must be accepted. Jesus came that we might have life, and life abundantly, life as God intended for it to be lived in the garden. That life cannot be lived by the walking wounded. If we would have life as God intended, we must enter it with scars, beautiful, story filled scars. Healing is possible, and healing will transform your life.
We all get wounded in this world, but we don't have to stay wounded. God offers healing, my own life testifies to this. Don't spend another day ignoring your wounds, allow God to begin to work, and see what His healing can do.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
The wounds you have are not who God intended you to be. He doesn't erase wounds from our past, but if we'll let Him, He will bring healing so they don't do any more harm. God loves to take wounds and turn them into scars because scars mean healing has taken place, and scars tell a great story (usually).
My own journey of healing has taught me a few things, and just like with my wounds, I want to share the lessons I've learned.
Healing doesn't happen by accident.
If we are going to find healing for our wounds, it has to be done intentionally. We have to begin by acknowledging that we have wounds, stop ignoring them hoping they'll go away because they won't, my doctor told me once, "Bad things don't go away." The only way to obtain healing is to go after it. For me, I intentionally revisited places where I had been wounded, and in doing this I discovered the real wound that needed to be healed. I had to write notes, make phone calls, I had to reach out to people and get vulnerable. Healing takes effort, and if we would experience healing, we must be willing to chase it.
Healing is accomplished by God.
We have to be intentional about pursuing healing, but we have to know that God is the one who brings healing. Genuine healing is not something that a counselor, a pastor, or a mentor can bring about (I'm not saying don't utilize these resources, I've personally used all three, sometimes all at the same time), but I am saying that these are all just people, and each of them has their own wounds. Healing is only found in God. He alone can deal with years, maybe decades, of ignored and infected pain, and bring about healing. If we would deal with our wounds, we must draw near to God.
Healing reveals who you were made to be.
It is through my own journey of healing that God has taught me who I am and why I'm here. It is through my healing that God has given me an identity and pointed me towards my destiny. The experiences of pain that I have had have served to show me what I care most about, the things that I'm passionate about, and they guide me to try and make a difference. Before I had encountered the healing power of God I feel like I just wandered aimlessly, hoping my wounds wouldn't be exposed, but once God had gone to work, I began to focus on what healing enabled me to do.
Healing gives credibility.
When a wound is healed it leaves a scar, and scars tell a story. Healing gives credibility because it shows you've been through some junk, maybe junk of your own causation but junk none the less. Scars show that you've not only been wounded, but that you've recovered, and the story of your scars is one that can impact lives. You can tell where you've been, tell what God did, and tell how you're different, and the scars prove your story is true.
Healing sets you free.
Wounds limit you. I've had physical wounds that kept me from competing while I was wrestling, and I've had spiritual wounds that have kept me from being fully effective in life. Wounds hold us back, but healing sets us free. When we experience healing we're free to live lives of passion. When you don't have to conceal a wound, your hands are free to do something great.
In John 5, Jesus asks a lame man who has spent every day for nearly four decades laying by the pool of Bethesda hoping for a miracle, "Do you wish to get well?" The question has an obvious answer, but Jesus gives people dignity, never forcing anything on them. Healing is offered, healing is possible, but healing must be accepted. Jesus came that we might have life, and life abundantly, life as God intended for it to be lived in the garden. That life cannot be lived by the walking wounded. If we would have life as God intended, we must enter it with scars, beautiful, story filled scars. Healing is possible, and healing will transform your life.
We all get wounded in this world, but we don't have to stay wounded. God offers healing, my own life testifies to this. Don't spend another day ignoring your wounds, allow God to begin to work, and see what His healing can do.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Monday, October 8, 2018
Lessons from My Wounds
We've all got wounds. No matter how much we hate them, try to ignore them, or even deny that they're there, we all carry a wound, and probably a few. For the past few years God has been working in my life, bringing wounds to my attention so that I can begin to deal with them. It's crucial that we do deal with them, because wounds impact our lives.
As I've been examining and sharing my experiences with the major wounds of my life, I've realized a few things about wounds, and I want to share these lessons.
Wounds impact the way we approach life.
My first wound was from wrestling, and it was this wound that made me begin to withdraw from and shut down. I had poured myself into something, gotten so close to the goal, but when I hit a setback I gave up. This would become the way I operated for years, I would limit my risks, playing it safe, when things got hard I'd stop fighting so I didn't get hurt again.
Wounds impact how we relate to others.
The wound I received from my first lead pastor role caused me to push people away. When I was attacked I wanted to avoid my attacker. I didn't want to confront the issue because it meant taking a beating, and I didn't do my job well because I was constantly stressed and frustrated over this one individual. This wound prevented me from pastoring as well as I could have.
Wounds are manipulated by the enemy.
The wound I carried from my time in Michigan went untreated for so long because the enemy got me to focus on the wrong issue. He took a scratch and made it seem like a bear mauling, when in reality the real wound had already been inflicted. When we get wounded, the enemy doesn't want us to find healing, and so he'll try to distract us by focusing our attention on false wounds.
Wounds can be self inflicted.
The wound I carried from my former mentor was a wound I let happen. I didn't want to address the issue, due to my other unhealed wounds, and so I simply made a wound out of an issue that never had to be one. Had I brought up the issue, it could have been an opportunity for healing to begin to take place, but instead I gave in to the tendencies I had grown accustomed to, and I inflicted a wound upon myself.
Wound keep us from God's best.
The wound from her has opened my eyes to what God has in store. Sometimes we see something good, but it isn't the best. We get wounded, and we get so hung up on what we feel we're missing out on that we begin to exist, not chasing passion because we're nursing a wound we don't want to let heal. When we are wounded, we can't operate to our fullest potential, and cannot be fully utilized by God.
Wounds, left unhealed, are defining, or rather debilitating. Wounds don't tell us who we are, they try to, but they don't define us because they aren't from God. Wound debilitate us, making us ill and weak, unable to discover our identity, recover our passion, pursue our destiny, or live in the community with others.
Wounds are tools of the enemy, but healing, scars, are from God. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." (John 10.10)
Wounds are part of life, but they aren't real life. We all have wounds, but let's refuse to live with them. Let's not let the enemy steal our identity, kill our passion, or destroy our destiny. Let us pursue healing and live abundantly within community.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
As I've been examining and sharing my experiences with the major wounds of my life, I've realized a few things about wounds, and I want to share these lessons.
Wounds impact the way we approach life.
My first wound was from wrestling, and it was this wound that made me begin to withdraw from and shut down. I had poured myself into something, gotten so close to the goal, but when I hit a setback I gave up. This would become the way I operated for years, I would limit my risks, playing it safe, when things got hard I'd stop fighting so I didn't get hurt again.
Wounds impact how we relate to others.
The wound I received from my first lead pastor role caused me to push people away. When I was attacked I wanted to avoid my attacker. I didn't want to confront the issue because it meant taking a beating, and I didn't do my job well because I was constantly stressed and frustrated over this one individual. This wound prevented me from pastoring as well as I could have.
Wounds are manipulated by the enemy.
The wound I carried from my time in Michigan went untreated for so long because the enemy got me to focus on the wrong issue. He took a scratch and made it seem like a bear mauling, when in reality the real wound had already been inflicted. When we get wounded, the enemy doesn't want us to find healing, and so he'll try to distract us by focusing our attention on false wounds.
Wounds can be self inflicted.
The wound I carried from my former mentor was a wound I let happen. I didn't want to address the issue, due to my other unhealed wounds, and so I simply made a wound out of an issue that never had to be one. Had I brought up the issue, it could have been an opportunity for healing to begin to take place, but instead I gave in to the tendencies I had grown accustomed to, and I inflicted a wound upon myself.
Wound keep us from God's best.
The wound from her has opened my eyes to what God has in store. Sometimes we see something good, but it isn't the best. We get wounded, and we get so hung up on what we feel we're missing out on that we begin to exist, not chasing passion because we're nursing a wound we don't want to let heal. When we are wounded, we can't operate to our fullest potential, and cannot be fully utilized by God.
Wounds, left unhealed, are defining, or rather debilitating. Wounds don't tell us who we are, they try to, but they don't define us because they aren't from God. Wound debilitate us, making us ill and weak, unable to discover our identity, recover our passion, pursue our destiny, or live in the community with others.
Wounds are tools of the enemy, but healing, scars, are from God. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." (John 10.10)
Wounds are part of life, but they aren't real life. We all have wounds, but let's refuse to live with them. Let's not let the enemy steal our identity, kill our passion, or destroy our destiny. Let us pursue healing and live abundantly within community.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Friday, October 5, 2018
The Wound from Her, Healing Part 2: Owning Freedom
"Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it."
I thought I knew what that meant. I thought it was about not being afraid to enter into a new relationship with someone else. That was the message I took, but looking back at this now, factoring everything that has happened in the past 9 1/2 years, I'm realizing that God was saying so much more.
It wasn't simply about being willing to enter into a new relationship, but about boldly going after my passions. For so long I had played it safe, and for so long after this moment I would continue to play it safe. I ended up in Michigan because it was the only job I could find working in a church, my preference had been to stay in Ohio, preferably at a church I had interned at, but those doors closed. God was saying more than simply move past this girl, He was saying begin to live your life.
It would take years, some more set backs, more pain and frustration, and finally diving into these wounds, but I'm at the point where I'm beginning to follow my freed heart. I'm pursuing things.
I've got a dream and a vision for my future, a specific vision and dream not just some abstract concept, and I'm taking steps towards it. I have a sense of what God has called me to do, and I'm working to prepare myself for that calling. I'm taking risks with my education, and my future career because I'm following my freed heart.
I'm learning to pursue community and relationships. For so long I didn't want to need anybody, I didn't want to feel like I was a burden on anyone, and it left me feeling alone and isolated. I'm learning that I need people, and that it's ok to need others. I'm learning to drop my guard and build relationships in order to live in community.
I've been realizing that it's ok for me to enjoy life. For so long I was focused on responsibility, the things I had to do. I would get frustrated and overwhelmed because I felt like I had no time to enjoy anything, like there was always something productive I had to be doing, and this would cause me to shut down and withdraw. I'd waste time on YouTube or with phone apps, and then have to rush to get everything done that I had to get done, and when I'd finally take time to go hike I'd be unable to enjoy it because I knew there were things I had to get done.
Owning the freedom that God has given me has allowed me to begin living life. This wound and its healing was about so much more than simply a relationship, but about my entire approach to life. Galatians 5.1 states, "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." God sets our hears free so that we can life in freedom. Let us stand firm in the freedom He has given us, courageously following the God-given passions of our hearts. Let us own our freedom.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
I thought I knew what that meant. I thought it was about not being afraid to enter into a new relationship with someone else. That was the message I took, but looking back at this now, factoring everything that has happened in the past 9 1/2 years, I'm realizing that God was saying so much more.
It wasn't simply about being willing to enter into a new relationship, but about boldly going after my passions. For so long I had played it safe, and for so long after this moment I would continue to play it safe. I ended up in Michigan because it was the only job I could find working in a church, my preference had been to stay in Ohio, preferably at a church I had interned at, but those doors closed. God was saying more than simply move past this girl, He was saying begin to live your life.
It would take years, some more set backs, more pain and frustration, and finally diving into these wounds, but I'm at the point where I'm beginning to follow my freed heart. I'm pursuing things.
I've got a dream and a vision for my future, a specific vision and dream not just some abstract concept, and I'm taking steps towards it. I have a sense of what God has called me to do, and I'm working to prepare myself for that calling. I'm taking risks with my education, and my future career because I'm following my freed heart.
I'm learning to pursue community and relationships. For so long I didn't want to need anybody, I didn't want to feel like I was a burden on anyone, and it left me feeling alone and isolated. I'm learning that I need people, and that it's ok to need others. I'm learning to drop my guard and build relationships in order to live in community.
I've been realizing that it's ok for me to enjoy life. For so long I was focused on responsibility, the things I had to do. I would get frustrated and overwhelmed because I felt like I had no time to enjoy anything, like there was always something productive I had to be doing, and this would cause me to shut down and withdraw. I'd waste time on YouTube or with phone apps, and then have to rush to get everything done that I had to get done, and when I'd finally take time to go hike I'd be unable to enjoy it because I knew there were things I had to get done.
Owning the freedom that God has given me has allowed me to begin living life. This wound and its healing was about so much more than simply a relationship, but about my entire approach to life. Galatians 5.1 states, "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." God sets our hears free so that we can life in freedom. Let us stand firm in the freedom He has given us, courageously following the God-given passions of our hearts. Let us own our freedom.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Wednesday, October 3, 2018
The Wound from Her, Healing Part 1: Freedom
I had gotten to the point where I was ok. I had accepted the fact that we weren't going to be together. I had stopped writing to her, including the letters I wrote and never sent, and I asked someone who I had talked to about the whole thing to hold on to them. I was trying to move on, but it was difficult. Things with my job were starting to get rough, you can read about that in the posts on The Misplaced Wound, and I was beginning to lose interest in what I was doing. There was no challenge I was facing, no adventure I was living, and no beauty I was rescuing; the three things Eldredge identifies as the deepest longings of a man's soul were absent from my life.
It was a Friday or Saturday morning, I didn't have to go to work, and I had nothing planned for the day, and so I decided to just hang out on my couch for a while and watch a movie. For whatever reason I happened to pick Braveheart. Remember the very first movie she and I watched together? Braveheart, I mentioned it in the first post because it's relevant to what God began to do. As I was watching it this time, something hit me in a way that it never had before.
There is a quote that occurs early in the movie, William Wallace's father has been killed in a battle against the English. His uncle has come to take him and raise him, and William begins to face the reality of what his life looks like. The quote is at 5:50, but this sets up the scene well. William Wallace's word has been shattered, and now he faces the choice to embrace his destiny or not.
When I heard those words spoken this time, it was like God said them to me. I had given my heart to this girl, and it had been broken. I was at the point where I didn't want to give it to anyone else, didn't want to risk doing anything where I could get hurt again, and in that moment God told me, "Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it."
God made me to live with passion, otherwise life is just existence. There can be no passion without risk, and risk always brings the possibility of wounding. It's easy to become guarded, playing it safe, and never pursuing anything, or anyone, again. In my mind that was what I wanted to do. I didn't want to move on because that meant having to take a risk on someone else in the future. But through the words of Braveheart, God was calling the man out of me. "Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it."
God had, and has, so much in His heart for me. Right now that's a message I have to keep reminding myself of and believing (I asked for prayer a few weeks ago, and I would appreciate continued prayer). He has given me a heart that is passionate about so many things, and I have to be bold enough to risk the wounds in order to follow those passions He has instilled in me. It began back in my one bedroom apartment in Michigan, I had been wounded, and in all honesty I wasn't even looking for healing. But God had something in mind for me that went beyond her. My heart had been wounded, but God didn't intend to leave it that way.
My heart is free. I must have the courage to follow it...
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
It was a Friday or Saturday morning, I didn't have to go to work, and I had nothing planned for the day, and so I decided to just hang out on my couch for a while and watch a movie. For whatever reason I happened to pick Braveheart. Remember the very first movie she and I watched together? Braveheart, I mentioned it in the first post because it's relevant to what God began to do. As I was watching it this time, something hit me in a way that it never had before.
There is a quote that occurs early in the movie, William Wallace's father has been killed in a battle against the English. His uncle has come to take him and raise him, and William begins to face the reality of what his life looks like. The quote is at 5:50, but this sets up the scene well. William Wallace's word has been shattered, and now he faces the choice to embrace his destiny or not.
When I heard those words spoken this time, it was like God said them to me. I had given my heart to this girl, and it had been broken. I was at the point where I didn't want to give it to anyone else, didn't want to risk doing anything where I could get hurt again, and in that moment God told me, "Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it."
God made me to live with passion, otherwise life is just existence. There can be no passion without risk, and risk always brings the possibility of wounding. It's easy to become guarded, playing it safe, and never pursuing anything, or anyone, again. In my mind that was what I wanted to do. I didn't want to move on because that meant having to take a risk on someone else in the future. But through the words of Braveheart, God was calling the man out of me. "Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it."
God had, and has, so much in His heart for me. Right now that's a message I have to keep reminding myself of and believing (I asked for prayer a few weeks ago, and I would appreciate continued prayer). He has given me a heart that is passionate about so many things, and I have to be bold enough to risk the wounds in order to follow those passions He has instilled in me. It began back in my one bedroom apartment in Michigan, I had been wounded, and in all honesty I wasn't even looking for healing. But God had something in mind for me that went beyond her. My heart had been wounded, but God didn't intend to leave it that way.
My heart is free. I must have the courage to follow it...
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Monday, October 1, 2018
The Wound from Her, Impact
This wound may have impacted me in the most significant way. I was really into this girl, poured my heart out in letters that I never sent her because there were things I felt I needed to say but it wasn't time to actually say them. I wrote song lyrics for her, and I'm not a musician. I had forgotten about a lot of this until this past Thursday night/Friday morning.
Over the past week I've been thinking a lot about this, and the few months I had known her had caused me to relate to someone on an emotional level I never had before. I had put myself out there, really for the first time, and even though it became clear that she was no longer interested, there was no real closure for me. I began to emotionally withdraw.
In the past week I've started to realize how this has impacted me. It's hard for me to open up to people, I'm often guarded, and it's easy for me to be indifferent about a lot of things. I had opened myself up to open, been vulnerable in ways I hadn't before, and I ended up getting wounded. That wound caused me to become protective, not letting people get too close, and suppressing my emotions while I retreated to the safety of logic and reason.
I began to simply exist, I really had no passion in my life, and at that point I had no sense of true identity for a foundation. I was isolated out of state, away from the small support system I had, and trying to deal something I didn't have any idea what to do with.
I feel like I need to throw this out there, I don't blame her for any of this. It was almost 10 years ago, she was only 19, and that wasn't the plan God had for either of us. If I were to run into her nothing would be awkward or uncomfortable, and we could probably sit and catch up on life.
I got really emotionally invested in this, to use a cliche "I gave my heart away" (I really hate cliches, you have no idea I much), but that's what happened. As a result, I became guarded, and didn't connect with anyone on that level again out of a desire for self-preservation...
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Over the past week I've been thinking a lot about this, and the few months I had known her had caused me to relate to someone on an emotional level I never had before. I had put myself out there, really for the first time, and even though it became clear that she was no longer interested, there was no real closure for me. I began to emotionally withdraw.
In the past week I've started to realize how this has impacted me. It's hard for me to open up to people, I'm often guarded, and it's easy for me to be indifferent about a lot of things. I had opened myself up to open, been vulnerable in ways I hadn't before, and I ended up getting wounded. That wound caused me to become protective, not letting people get too close, and suppressing my emotions while I retreated to the safety of logic and reason.
I began to simply exist, I really had no passion in my life, and at that point I had no sense of true identity for a foundation. I was isolated out of state, away from the small support system I had, and trying to deal something I didn't have any idea what to do with.
I feel like I need to throw this out there, I don't blame her for any of this. It was almost 10 years ago, she was only 19, and that wasn't the plan God had for either of us. If I were to run into her nothing would be awkward or uncomfortable, and we could probably sit and catch up on life.
I got really emotionally invested in this, to use a cliche "I gave my heart away" (I really hate cliches, you have no idea I much), but that's what happened. As a result, I became guarded, and didn't connect with anyone on that level again out of a desire for self-preservation...
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
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