Learning your identity is a crucial first step, but it's only a step. You can know who you are and still fail to do anything with it. This realization led me to study 1 Peter 5.1-11 intensively, as well as sharing my name and it's meaning with my brothers, before taking a pledge I had written, challenging myself to be who God had called me to be.
However, the thing that really led me to realize the need to embrace identity came from the second Bible story I focused on throughout this process. Below is more of what will be in my book, so again, no one take it.
Samson was a judge of Israel, blessed with divine strength so that he could free his people from their Philistine oppressors. This was a man who was so gifted, but who wasted his gift and never lived out his calling. It's a tragic story with a depressing ending that I don't want to emulate at all. The saddest part is that the tragedy of Samson could have been avoided had he embraced his God given identity.
Samson was given an identity from God before he was born. "Then the angel of the Lord appeared to the woman and said to her, 'Behold now, you are barren and have borne no children, but you shall conceive and give birth to a son. Now therefore, be careful not to drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing. For behold, you shall conceive and give birth to a son, and no razor shall come upon his head, for the boy shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel from the hands of the Philistines.'" (Judges 13.3-5)
Before his birth, before his parents even knew about him, Samson was given an identity from God. He was to be a Nazirite, set apart for God, who would deliver Israel from their enemies. He would grow up knowing who God had said he was, and why God had put him on this earth. He knew who he was and what he was here to accomplish without ever doing anything. But the story of Samson goes beyond that, and before he ever had to fight a Philistine, God showed him that he had what it took to do so.
"Then Samson went down to Timnah with his father and mother, and came as far as the vineyards of Timnah; and behold, a young lion came roaring toward him. The Spirit of the Lord came upon him mightily, so that he tore him as one tears a young goat though he had nothing in his hand; but he did not tell his father or mother what he had done." (Judges 14.5-6)
On his way to Timnah to meet his future bride, Samson is attacked by a lion. In a moment when most people would panic (to say the least) Samson, empowered by God, steps up and tears the lion apart with his bare hands. God had not only given him a clear identity, but the tools to live out that identity. He had it all, and he wasted it.
"But he did not know that the Lord had departed from him. 21 Then the Philistines seized him and gouged out his eyes; and they brought him down to Gaza and bound him with bronze chains, and he was a grinder in the prison... Then Samson called to the Lord and said, 'O Lord God, please remember me and please strengthen me just this time, O God, that I may at once be avenged of the Philistines for my two eyes.' Samson grasped the two middle pillars on which the house rested, and braced himself against them, the one with his right hand and the other with his left. And Samson said, 'Let me die with the Philistines!' And he bent with all his might so that the house fell on the lords and all the people who were in it. So the dead whom he killed at his death were more than those whom he killed in his life. " (Judges 16.20a-21, 28-30)
Samson wasted his gift, and his death accomplished more than his life. He died with the enemies he should have driven out of the land. This guy had it all, but he refused to embrace who God created him to be.
Let us not commit the same error as Samson. Let's not wast our lives, but let us instead embrace our identity so that we can fully live out who God has called us to be.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Showing posts with label Identity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Identity. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Monday, October 29, 2018
Where Do You Draw Your Identity?
As I began this search for my identity I had to first begin by looking at the things I had let define me. I'm going to share part of what's going in my book, so no one take my concept. In the book of Daniel so many things were against him, so many things tried to define him.
He was carried off from Israel to Babylon, he was refugee.
The Babylonians changed his name, educated him in Babylonian language and customs, and they tried to change his diet, he was forced to adapt another culture contrary to the covenant God had called him to.
Kings sought his counsel, one even bowed before him in worship, and he continued to advance in his career, he was successful in his profession.
Daniel had countless opportunities to let his circumstances define him. He could have fallen into a victim mentality after being forced form him home land, but he didn't. He could have compromised his integrity, fully embracing the Babylonian culture, but he didn't. He could have given in to pride, basking in the glory his success had brought him, but he didn't. If Daniel had, his life would have looked very different, and we probably wouldn't know his name, or at least we wouldn't count him as a hero of the faith.
In everything Daniel did, he never forgot God. This was so evident that even his peers knew that the only way they could find fault with him was in terms of his relationship with God. "Then the commissioners and satraps began trying to find a ground of accusation against Daniel in regard to government affairs; but they could find no ground of accusation or evidence of corruption, inasmuch as he was faithful, and no negligence or corruption was to be found in him. Then these men said, 'We will not find any ground of accusation against this Daniel unless we find it against him with regard to the law of his God.'" (Dan. 6.4-5)
It was because of God that Daniel didn't allow his identity to be shaped by his circumstances. And it is because Daniel's identity was rooted in God that he was able to endure the most difficult trial of his life.
"Then the king gave orders, and Daniel was brought in and cast into the lions’ den. The king spoke and said to Daniel, 'Your God whom you constantly serve will Himself deliver you.' A stone was brought and laid over the mouth of the den; and the king sealed it with his own signet ring and with the signet rings of his nobles, so that nothing would be changed in regard to Daniel." (Dan. 6.16-17)
Daniel's refusal to embrace a false identity caused jealousy among his peers, and it resulted in him being thrown into the lion's den. But because his identity was rooted in God, God delivered him.
"Then Daniel spoke to the king, 'O king, live forever! My God sent His angel and shut the lions’ mouths and they have not harmed me, inasmuch as I was found innocent before Him; and also toward you, O king, I have committed no crime.' Then the king was very pleased and gave orders for Daniel to be taken up out of the den. So Daniel was taken up out of the den and no injury whatever was found on him, because he had trusted in his God." (Dan. 6.21-23)
When your identity is rooted in God, your circumstances can't define you. In success and failure, ease and hardship, you're foundation is consistent. And when you enter the lion's den, you will not be consumed because God will shut the mouths of the lions.
Where are you drawing your identity?
For more, watch for my book, coming ?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
He was carried off from Israel to Babylon, he was refugee.
The Babylonians changed his name, educated him in Babylonian language and customs, and they tried to change his diet, he was forced to adapt another culture contrary to the covenant God had called him to.
Kings sought his counsel, one even bowed before him in worship, and he continued to advance in his career, he was successful in his profession.
Daniel had countless opportunities to let his circumstances define him. He could have fallen into a victim mentality after being forced form him home land, but he didn't. He could have compromised his integrity, fully embracing the Babylonian culture, but he didn't. He could have given in to pride, basking in the glory his success had brought him, but he didn't. If Daniel had, his life would have looked very different, and we probably wouldn't know his name, or at least we wouldn't count him as a hero of the faith.
In everything Daniel did, he never forgot God. This was so evident that even his peers knew that the only way they could find fault with him was in terms of his relationship with God. "Then the commissioners and satraps began trying to find a ground of accusation against Daniel in regard to government affairs; but they could find no ground of accusation or evidence of corruption, inasmuch as he was faithful, and no negligence or corruption was to be found in him. Then these men said, 'We will not find any ground of accusation against this Daniel unless we find it against him with regard to the law of his God.'" (Dan. 6.4-5)
It was because of God that Daniel didn't allow his identity to be shaped by his circumstances. And it is because Daniel's identity was rooted in God that he was able to endure the most difficult trial of his life.
"Then the king gave orders, and Daniel was brought in and cast into the lions’ den. The king spoke and said to Daniel, 'Your God whom you constantly serve will Himself deliver you.' A stone was brought and laid over the mouth of the den; and the king sealed it with his own signet ring and with the signet rings of his nobles, so that nothing would be changed in regard to Daniel." (Dan. 6.16-17)
Daniel's refusal to embrace a false identity caused jealousy among his peers, and it resulted in him being thrown into the lion's den. But because his identity was rooted in God, God delivered him.
"Then Daniel spoke to the king, 'O king, live forever! My God sent His angel and shut the lions’ mouths and they have not harmed me, inasmuch as I was found innocent before Him; and also toward you, O king, I have committed no crime.' Then the king was very pleased and gave orders for Daniel to be taken up out of the den. So Daniel was taken up out of the den and no injury whatever was found on him, because he had trusted in his God." (Dan. 6.21-23)
When your identity is rooted in God, your circumstances can't define you. In success and failure, ease and hardship, you're foundation is consistent. And when you enter the lion's den, you will not be consumed because God will shut the mouths of the lions.
Where are you drawing your identity?
For more, watch for my book, coming ?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Friday, October 26, 2018
Finding the Meaning of My Name
I had learned my name, and God had reinforced that identity over and over, but even thought I had that, something was still missing. For years I have been drawn to two movie scenes, one from Gladiator and one from Secondhand Lions, both where men tell an adversary who they are. These scenes involve more than just sharing their name, but what that name meant, who they really were. I've been drawn to these scenes because of what they convey, and I have always wanted a name like that. A name that tells of who I am at my core.
A name like that only comes from trail and hardship, suffering and healing, something that I hadn't really experienced until a few years ago. Meaning comes out of how we respond to everything that has taken place, and defines how we are seeking to live moving forward. The search for my name was part of a ceremony that would be held at an annual men's retreat I lead, you can read about these and see insights from my brothers at http://proverbs1824brothers.blogspot.com/. The focus we've had since our first retreat in 2015 has been on becoming the men God created us to be.
The ceremony was something that I needed, had longed for for so long, it was that confirmation of identity, a calling to something bigger, and validation from those I'm doing life with. I had my name, but I knew that for this ceremony I needed more, I needed to be able share what that meant. I needed to say who I had been, what God had done, and who I was now as a result.
As I had been learning my name a common theme kept coming up, which is ultimately how I discovered the identity God had given me, and in that He gave me a Scriptural foundation. I close every post with the same phrase, "Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11" and the reason for this is that 1 Peter 5.1-11 is the passage God gave me. Earlier this year I spent several months breaking down this passage of Scripture, going phrase by phrase, and examining what it meant. I found five key themes in these verses, and from those themes began to understand what it meant to claim the identity God had given me.
My name came from God, and the meaning of that name came from Scripture. On June 9, 2018 I shared that name with my brothers, and then I took a pledge that I had written based out of what God had revealed to me from 1 Peter 5.1-11. I had a name, and I know what embracing that name entails.
Who does God say that you are? What name does He know you by?
What does Scripture say about your name?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
A name like that only comes from trail and hardship, suffering and healing, something that I hadn't really experienced until a few years ago. Meaning comes out of how we respond to everything that has taken place, and defines how we are seeking to live moving forward. The search for my name was part of a ceremony that would be held at an annual men's retreat I lead, you can read about these and see insights from my brothers at http://proverbs1824brothers.blogspot.com/. The focus we've had since our first retreat in 2015 has been on becoming the men God created us to be.
The ceremony was something that I needed, had longed for for so long, it was that confirmation of identity, a calling to something bigger, and validation from those I'm doing life with. I had my name, but I knew that for this ceremony I needed more, I needed to be able share what that meant. I needed to say who I had been, what God had done, and who I was now as a result.
As I had been learning my name a common theme kept coming up, which is ultimately how I discovered the identity God had given me, and in that He gave me a Scriptural foundation. I close every post with the same phrase, "Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11" and the reason for this is that 1 Peter 5.1-11 is the passage God gave me. Earlier this year I spent several months breaking down this passage of Scripture, going phrase by phrase, and examining what it meant. I found five key themes in these verses, and from those themes began to understand what it meant to claim the identity God had given me.
My name came from God, and the meaning of that name came from Scripture. On June 9, 2018 I shared that name with my brothers, and then I took a pledge that I had written based out of what God had revealed to me from 1 Peter 5.1-11. I had a name, and I know what embracing that name entails.
Who does God say that you are? What name does He know you by?
What does Scripture say about your name?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
How I Learned My Name
The day before my oldest daughter turned one I was reading the story of Samson as part of a blog project I was working on. As I read the story it stood out to me in a new way, and I couldn't move past the details. This caused me to begin looking for similar stories throughout the Bible, and I ended up finding two others. These stories began to fascinate me like they never had before. I noticed the similarities and differences; I focused on what was unique and began to look at how these all fit together.
The next day when I took my daughter to the doctor for her one year check up, and a shot (watching my princess get a shot breaks my heart because it's necessary pain but it's still pain). Afterwards we had some time to kill so we just went and walked around the mall. I'm not a huge fan of the mall, but it was March in northeast Ohio, so it was the best option for walking. We went into the book store, I don't know why but book stores are something I enjoy even though I don't buy any books from them usually, but as we were there I noticed that one of my favorite author's, John Eldredge, had a new book out. The title of the book directly corresponded with what I had read in the Bible the previous day. I looked to heaven and said to God, "You're trying to tell me something aren't You?"
At this point I decided that I needed to explore this a little more. There was something going on, something God was trying to tell me. At first I thought it was just a cool idea, something that would make an interesting couple blog posts, maybe a future sermon series, possibly even a book (this third option is where I've landed, thus the reason I'm being so vague. I've started to actually write it but life has happened and I'm reduced to a lot of note taking and processing.)
I went home and began to explore this idea over the next few days, getting really excited about it, and even sharing the idea with some of my closest friends. Over the next few months the idea didn't fade, but just kept growing in intensity and clarity, and I began to feel that God was trying to give me more than just a writing topic. I began to realize that God was telling me my name.
The final realization I had was when God told me to buy a sword. I had bought a replica Spartan shield years earlier. I had always wanted one, and then I found an insane deal on one, and my ex-wife wasn't around to tell me not to, so for my birthday that year I bought myself a shield. At that time I was still trying to fight for my marriage, trying to bring about restoration, and I would hold my shield up, get in a battle stance, and pray against Satan. One time when I did this, I felt that I was being mocked because I didn't have a sword. At the time I couldn't afford one, and I'm not big on collecting stuff so I had never planned on getting one, but a few years later I felt that God was leading me to buy a sword. I went back and forth with Him on this, because I really didn't have extra money, but He wouldn't leave me alone about it, and so I began to look, and I found a Lakonia short sword, also on sale, and got ready to purchase it.
I got it sharpened, there was no question about that, if a sword isn't sharp it's not a sword. This does make displaying it tricky at this point since my girls are so young, it ends up packed away on top of a closet so they don't accidentally find it, but one day I'll be able to display it with my shield. The other option it gave me was for engraving initials. I wasn't going to put my own initials on there, and at that point God had been leading me in the direction of my real name, my true identity from Him, and the final leading I got was to put those initials on there. I was hesitant to do this, but I couldn't get past the sense that I needed to, and so I did.
I know I'm being vague on a lot with this, and I'm sorry. I go back and forth with how much of my personal story to share, just because it is so deeply meaningful to me, and it's still very fresh. So much of this is only known to my group brothers and the few men who have walked through the past few years with me. This past weekend I shared it in detail with someone outside of that circle for the first time, and that was good.
Summing up, God revealed my name to me by making a familiar Bible story stand out in an unfamiliar way. It was something He kept bringing up to me, and something that really stirred my heart. The initials I put on my sword would become the name that went on my dog tags, and it's the name reveals who God says I am.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
I'm sorry that this is being posted later in the day, it's been a weird week and I've been strangely unmotivated and kind of uninspired. Blogs will still be posted Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and hopefully I'm back to the original schedule time wise by next week.
The next day when I took my daughter to the doctor for her one year check up, and a shot (watching my princess get a shot breaks my heart because it's necessary pain but it's still pain). Afterwards we had some time to kill so we just went and walked around the mall. I'm not a huge fan of the mall, but it was March in northeast Ohio, so it was the best option for walking. We went into the book store, I don't know why but book stores are something I enjoy even though I don't buy any books from them usually, but as we were there I noticed that one of my favorite author's, John Eldredge, had a new book out. The title of the book directly corresponded with what I had read in the Bible the previous day. I looked to heaven and said to God, "You're trying to tell me something aren't You?"
At this point I decided that I needed to explore this a little more. There was something going on, something God was trying to tell me. At first I thought it was just a cool idea, something that would make an interesting couple blog posts, maybe a future sermon series, possibly even a book (this third option is where I've landed, thus the reason I'm being so vague. I've started to actually write it but life has happened and I'm reduced to a lot of note taking and processing.)
I went home and began to explore this idea over the next few days, getting really excited about it, and even sharing the idea with some of my closest friends. Over the next few months the idea didn't fade, but just kept growing in intensity and clarity, and I began to feel that God was trying to give me more than just a writing topic. I began to realize that God was telling me my name.
The final realization I had was when God told me to buy a sword. I had bought a replica Spartan shield years earlier. I had always wanted one, and then I found an insane deal on one, and my ex-wife wasn't around to tell me not to, so for my birthday that year I bought myself a shield. At that time I was still trying to fight for my marriage, trying to bring about restoration, and I would hold my shield up, get in a battle stance, and pray against Satan. One time when I did this, I felt that I was being mocked because I didn't have a sword. At the time I couldn't afford one, and I'm not big on collecting stuff so I had never planned on getting one, but a few years later I felt that God was leading me to buy a sword. I went back and forth with Him on this, because I really didn't have extra money, but He wouldn't leave me alone about it, and so I began to look, and I found a Lakonia short sword, also on sale, and got ready to purchase it.
I got it sharpened, there was no question about that, if a sword isn't sharp it's not a sword. This does make displaying it tricky at this point since my girls are so young, it ends up packed away on top of a closet so they don't accidentally find it, but one day I'll be able to display it with my shield. The other option it gave me was for engraving initials. I wasn't going to put my own initials on there, and at that point God had been leading me in the direction of my real name, my true identity from Him, and the final leading I got was to put those initials on there. I was hesitant to do this, but I couldn't get past the sense that I needed to, and so I did.
I know I'm being vague on a lot with this, and I'm sorry. I go back and forth with how much of my personal story to share, just because it is so deeply meaningful to me, and it's still very fresh. So much of this is only known to my group brothers and the few men who have walked through the past few years with me. This past weekend I shared it in detail with someone outside of that circle for the first time, and that was good.
Summing up, God revealed my name to me by making a familiar Bible story stand out in an unfamiliar way. It was something He kept bringing up to me, and something that really stirred my heart. The initials I put on my sword would become the name that went on my dog tags, and it's the name reveals who God says I am.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
I'm sorry that this is being posted later in the day, it's been a weird week and I've been strangely unmotivated and kind of uninspired. Blogs will still be posted Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and hopefully I'm back to the original schedule time wise by next week.
Monday, October 22, 2018
New Name
"He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, to him I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, and a new name written on the stone which no one knows but he who receives it." Revelation 2.17
There is a name that God knows you by. It isn't the name your parents gave you. It isn't anything that those who seek to tear you down have labeled you with. It isn't anything destructive or self critical you've come to believe about yourself. God has a name He knows you by. It is the name He gave to you when He created you. It is a name the reveals who you really are.
God has a name for you, a name that He personally wants to bestow upon you. This name is one that can only come from God because only God knows it. God wants to tell you what your name is. And I know this might sound crazy, it might sound like a spiritual fantasy that is disconnected from reality, but it isn't. I've experienced this, I've read and talked to others who have experienced this, and I'm currently working with others who are in the process of discovering this.
God knows you by your true name. This name speaks of what you were put on this world to do. It is reveals the characteristics you are called to embody, and it points to the destiny God has put you here to accomplish. If we will be bold enough to seek the identity God has for us, bold enough to to pursue it, embracing the trials and hardships of life, God will bestow upon us a new name, our true name.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
There is a name that God knows you by. It isn't the name your parents gave you. It isn't anything that those who seek to tear you down have labeled you with. It isn't anything destructive or self critical you've come to believe about yourself. God has a name He knows you by. It is the name He gave to you when He created you. It is a name the reveals who you really are.
God has a name for you, a name that He personally wants to bestow upon you. This name is one that can only come from God because only God knows it. God wants to tell you what your name is. And I know this might sound crazy, it might sound like a spiritual fantasy that is disconnected from reality, but it isn't. I've experienced this, I've read and talked to others who have experienced this, and I'm currently working with others who are in the process of discovering this.
God knows you by your true name. This name speaks of what you were put on this world to do. It is reveals the characteristics you are called to embody, and it points to the destiny God has put you here to accomplish. If we will be bold enough to seek the identity God has for us, bold enough to to pursue it, embracing the trials and hardships of life, God will bestow upon us a new name, our true name.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Friday, October 19, 2018
Finding Your Identity, Question 2
After the wounds have been dealt with, the false identities have been identified, we're ready to begin finding our real identity. Before we can hear from God we've got to clear out all of the lies and distractions fighting for our attention. I love the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19.
"So He said, 'Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord.' And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave." (1 Kings 19.11-13a)
This event takes place immediately after Elijah's showdown with the prophets of Ba'al on Mount Carmel. God showed up in a mighty way, fire from heaven to consume a soaking wet sacrifice, stones, and a pool of water surrounding it, and then he kills the pagan prophets (I've been using the word pagan a lot recently as it relates to a paper I'm writing for grad school on Old Testament Genocide). The queen, Jezebel, isn't happy and threatens his life, so he books it to Sinai, where God meets him.
God speaks and tells Elijah that He's going to pass by the cave. Three signs of devastating power natural power occur. First a wind that shatters the rocks, but God's not there. Then there's an earthquake which shakes the foundation of the mountain, but God's not there. Then a fire that consumes the vegetation, but God isn't there. Elijah's last experience with God was a mighty display of power, a lot of Elijah's encounters with God were mighty displays of power, but he knew God intimately and personally, and was able to distinguish God's voice from all of the distractions. When we identify the lies that seek to define us, we are able to able to clearly and distinctly hear from God.
Jesus asked His disciples two questions at Caesarea Philippi, "Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, 'Who do people say that the Son of Man is?' And they said, 'Some say John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; but still others, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets.' He said to them, 'But who do you say that I am?'" (Matthew 16.13-15)
The first question looked at the world, people who had heard stories and seen His miracles, but didn't have a deep, personal relationship with Him. The second question was directed at those who were closest to Him, the ones hand picked by Him for intentional, small group style, relational community. These men knew Him on a deeper level than just what He could do, but who He was, and so Jesus asks them "But who do you say that I am?" Again, this isn't Jesus seeking His identity from His followers, He's already gotten that from God, but the principle I'm aiming at here is that we need to direct this question at the one who knows us most intimately, God.
After we have identified the false identities given to us by the world, the ways people have tired to shape our lives, and the things we have come to believe about ourselves as a result, we're able to take the question to God and hear from Him. We've identified the lies of the wind, the misdirection of the earthquake, and the destructive self image of the first, and we're ready to hear the still small voice of God.
Ask God, "Who do you say that I am?"
It can be scary. Elijah covered his face before going out to meet God. For me, I was afraid to ask God, I've gotten really into the enneagram recently (more on this to come sometime in the future on one of the blogs, most likely), but as a type 1 part of my focus is on needing to earn everything, striving for perfection and an ideal, and so being vulnerable to ask God what He thought was scary because there's this fear of not being good enough. But God didn't disappoint Elijah, He didn't let me down, and He won't forsake you.
Identifying the wounds is difficult, it's scary and uncomfortable, and honestly it can hurt. But God is a healer, and if there is pain He causes, it's pain that leads to full healing. God is not malicious, He doesn't cause pain because He enjoys watching us suffer, everything He does is about bringing restoration (more from my paper on OT Genocide).
Identify the false identities and the wounds they caused, let God speak healing and validation into you, giving you your true name.
Who do people say you are?
Who does God say you are?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
"So He said, 'Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord.' And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave." (1 Kings 19.11-13a)
This event takes place immediately after Elijah's showdown with the prophets of Ba'al on Mount Carmel. God showed up in a mighty way, fire from heaven to consume a soaking wet sacrifice, stones, and a pool of water surrounding it, and then he kills the pagan prophets (I've been using the word pagan a lot recently as it relates to a paper I'm writing for grad school on Old Testament Genocide). The queen, Jezebel, isn't happy and threatens his life, so he books it to Sinai, where God meets him.
God speaks and tells Elijah that He's going to pass by the cave. Three signs of devastating power natural power occur. First a wind that shatters the rocks, but God's not there. Then there's an earthquake which shakes the foundation of the mountain, but God's not there. Then a fire that consumes the vegetation, but God isn't there. Elijah's last experience with God was a mighty display of power, a lot of Elijah's encounters with God were mighty displays of power, but he knew God intimately and personally, and was able to distinguish God's voice from all of the distractions. When we identify the lies that seek to define us, we are able to able to clearly and distinctly hear from God.
Jesus asked His disciples two questions at Caesarea Philippi, "Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, 'Who do people say that the Son of Man is?' And they said, 'Some say John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; but still others, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets.' He said to them, 'But who do you say that I am?'" (Matthew 16.13-15)
The first question looked at the world, people who had heard stories and seen His miracles, but didn't have a deep, personal relationship with Him. The second question was directed at those who were closest to Him, the ones hand picked by Him for intentional, small group style, relational community. These men knew Him on a deeper level than just what He could do, but who He was, and so Jesus asks them "But who do you say that I am?" Again, this isn't Jesus seeking His identity from His followers, He's already gotten that from God, but the principle I'm aiming at here is that we need to direct this question at the one who knows us most intimately, God.
After we have identified the false identities given to us by the world, the ways people have tired to shape our lives, and the things we have come to believe about ourselves as a result, we're able to take the question to God and hear from Him. We've identified the lies of the wind, the misdirection of the earthquake, and the destructive self image of the first, and we're ready to hear the still small voice of God.
Ask God, "Who do you say that I am?"
It can be scary. Elijah covered his face before going out to meet God. For me, I was afraid to ask God, I've gotten really into the enneagram recently (more on this to come sometime in the future on one of the blogs, most likely), but as a type 1 part of my focus is on needing to earn everything, striving for perfection and an ideal, and so being vulnerable to ask God what He thought was scary because there's this fear of not being good enough. But God didn't disappoint Elijah, He didn't let me down, and He won't forsake you.
Identifying the wounds is difficult, it's scary and uncomfortable, and honestly it can hurt. But God is a healer, and if there is pain He causes, it's pain that leads to full healing. God is not malicious, He doesn't cause pain because He enjoys watching us suffer, everything He does is about bringing restoration (more from my paper on OT Genocide).
Identify the false identities and the wounds they caused, let God speak healing and validation into you, giving you your true name.
Who do people say you are?
Who does God say you are?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
Finding Your Identity, Question 1
The search for identity begins by identifying the false identities you have been given. Before we can build something stable, we have to clear away the debris in the way. Before a scar can from, a wound needs to be cleaned. I order to find our true identity, we begin by clearing away the false identities that we've been given.
These identities can come from anyone, and from an intent to cause harm or an attempt to protect. False identities can be dealt with the best intentions, or the most malicious. The school bully can give you a false identity, and so can a loving grandmother. The search for identity begins by discovering what is false, and how we have owned and believed what is false.
To find answers we have to ask questions, it's the reality of the world we live in. In reading the Gospels I believe I have found the questions we need to ask, and they come directly from Jesus. In Matthew 16 Jesus is in Northern Israel at Caesarea Philippi (Pictures below form my trip in 2009), and He is asking His disciples about His identity. This isn't for His sake, He knows His identity, it was bestowed by the Father at His baptism and affirmed through His time in the wilderness (Matthew 3 and 4), but here He's trying to see if they grasp who He is. He asks them two questions, and these two questions are the ones we need to ask ourselves if we would know our true identity.
"Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, 'Who do people say that the Son of Man is?'" (Matt. 16.13)
Jesus asks His disciples, "What does the world say about me?" And that is the first question we need to ask ourselves. Who do people say that I am?
What have people said about you?
Who have people tried to make you?
What do you believe about yourself as a result?
All of these things serve to form our false identity. People try to tear us down, they try to make us believe things about ourselves that are unhealthy and destructive. Sometimes it's because people just suck (yeah I said that, and yeah it's completely true), in addition to this people are just mean (and yes, those are two distinct descriptions, but don't ask me for clarification right now), the rest of the time people are just insecure about their own identity and they build their false identity by making other people insecure about their identity (95% of the time this is the case, so let's show some grace to people). People give us labels that aren't us, but sometimes these labels stick, and we begin to believe them, thinking less of ourselves, or even more highly of ourselves than we should. (I recommend Max Lucado's book You Are Special it's fantastic imagery of this)
People also try to direct us, pointing us in the direction we should go, and in following their plans we can sacrifice who we really are. I think this is how your grandma gives you a false identity, she tells you to be a doctor so you do, but you really don't want to be a doctor, but you do it to make grandma happy. You can embrace a false identity by following someone else's desires for your life. And again, this may come with the best intentions, people who care about you and just want what's best for you, but it still is an identity from the world.
Finally, what do you believe about yourself based on the answers to the above. Do you believe what the bully said about you high school (or what your co-worker said to you last Thursday)? Did you follow grandma's dream for your life? What do you believe about you? Do you see yourself as worthless or priceless? A pushover or powerful? Disposable or invaluable? Do you believe that you have something to offer that the world genuinely needs (you do)? What do you believe about yourself?
The first question we have to answer if we would know who we really are is what people say about us. This probably isn't going to be a fun conversation to have, some of the stuff I had to write down I really didn't want to, but when I did it was so freeing. Jordan Peterson says that we have to face the thing we least want to face, because that is where the deepest significance lies. We have to identify the wounds we've been given so that they can be healed.
If we would find our identity, we must first identify the false identities we have taken on.
Who do people say you are?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
These identities can come from anyone, and from an intent to cause harm or an attempt to protect. False identities can be dealt with the best intentions, or the most malicious. The school bully can give you a false identity, and so can a loving grandmother. The search for identity begins by discovering what is false, and how we have owned and believed what is false.
To find answers we have to ask questions, it's the reality of the world we live in. In reading the Gospels I believe I have found the questions we need to ask, and they come directly from Jesus. In Matthew 16 Jesus is in Northern Israel at Caesarea Philippi (Pictures below form my trip in 2009), and He is asking His disciples about His identity. This isn't for His sake, He knows His identity, it was bestowed by the Father at His baptism and affirmed through His time in the wilderness (Matthew 3 and 4), but here He's trying to see if they grasp who He is. He asks them two questions, and these two questions are the ones we need to ask ourselves if we would know our true identity.
"Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, 'Who do people say that the Son of Man is?'" (Matt. 16.13)
Jesus asks His disciples, "What does the world say about me?" And that is the first question we need to ask ourselves. Who do people say that I am?
What have people said about you?
Who have people tried to make you?
What do you believe about yourself as a result?
All of these things serve to form our false identity. People try to tear us down, they try to make us believe things about ourselves that are unhealthy and destructive. Sometimes it's because people just suck (yeah I said that, and yeah it's completely true), in addition to this people are just mean (and yes, those are two distinct descriptions, but don't ask me for clarification right now), the rest of the time people are just insecure about their own identity and they build their false identity by making other people insecure about their identity (95% of the time this is the case, so let's show some grace to people). People give us labels that aren't us, but sometimes these labels stick, and we begin to believe them, thinking less of ourselves, or even more highly of ourselves than we should. (I recommend Max Lucado's book You Are Special it's fantastic imagery of this)
People also try to direct us, pointing us in the direction we should go, and in following their plans we can sacrifice who we really are. I think this is how your grandma gives you a false identity, she tells you to be a doctor so you do, but you really don't want to be a doctor, but you do it to make grandma happy. You can embrace a false identity by following someone else's desires for your life. And again, this may come with the best intentions, people who care about you and just want what's best for you, but it still is an identity from the world.
Finally, what do you believe about yourself based on the answers to the above. Do you believe what the bully said about you high school (or what your co-worker said to you last Thursday)? Did you follow grandma's dream for your life? What do you believe about you? Do you see yourself as worthless or priceless? A pushover or powerful? Disposable or invaluable? Do you believe that you have something to offer that the world genuinely needs (you do)? What do you believe about yourself?
The first question we have to answer if we would know who we really are is what people say about us. This probably isn't going to be a fun conversation to have, some of the stuff I had to write down I really didn't want to, but when I did it was so freeing. Jordan Peterson says that we have to face the thing we least want to face, because that is where the deepest significance lies. We have to identify the wounds we've been given so that they can be healed.
If we would find our identity, we must first identify the false identities we have taken on.
Who do people say you are?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Monday, October 15, 2018
Identity, Why it Matters
Everyone who walks the face of the earth is searching for meaning. We need a purpose, and without one we merely exist, going through the motions of our day to day obligations, and longing for something more. The search for meaning in life is fruitless without the foundation of identity.
I spent so many years unsure about who I was. I looked for validation in my job, which is probably one of the big reasons I pursued a career as a professional minister now that I think about it. I looked for validation in relationships, which is probably why I didn't let people get close to me for so long. I don't think I ever fell into the trap of validation from possessions. But everything that I thought would give me meaning and purpose, ministry, marriage, influence, did nothing but to fulfill me. It wasn't until all of that got stripped away that I began to really seek out a solid founditional identity.
I graduated at the top of my class in college, with high encouragement from my professors about my gifting and potential. I've been let go from three churches, and haven't gotten a call about a ministry position in five years. The career peg of identity didn't do anything but stress me out and drain me. It sucked the life out of me prevented me from ministering well because I was too focused on the frustrating situations I was in that didn't give me meaning, purpose or validation.
I married a girl that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. She left just after we celebrated our four year anniversary. It would be easy to adopt this bitter and wounded label of "divorced" sulking in the failed relationship and broken covenant. But in the hurt of that trial, I began to realize that I wasn't defined by the success or failure of my marriage.
In both of these potentially defining aspects of my life, I've come to see that my identity does not hinge on either my career or my relationships, but that my career and relationships are defined by my identity.
Identity matters because it answers the most essential question of "Who am I?" Without this answer we can never go on to answer the bigger question of "Why am I here?" Identity is the foundation of everything we do, and if we don't have a solid, God-given identity, we spend our lives hopelessly trying to find meaning and fulfillment in things that have no power of validation.
It doesn't matter how good your job is, you can lose it in a heart beat. It doesn't matter how long you've been married, your spouse can leave at any time. It doesn't matter about how much wealth you've accumulated, all of that can be taken away at any time. If you're identity is built on these things, then it is a fragile thing that won't last when trials come. That's why people go through mid-life crises or commit suicide. There is no foundation for when the trials come, and when they do everything comes crashing down.
I've found this to be true in my own life. When the churches let me go it was rough. I was angry and bitter, and unsure about what to do next. My confidence was shaken, and I began to have a lot of doubt. When my marriage ended it messed me up. I couldn't function, had performance issues at work and trouble focusing at school. I'm not saying that these reactions aren't normal, even someone with a solid identity is going to be shaken by a life changing event like either of these things, but the reaction of a person with an identity is healthy and not destructive.
In Matthew 7 Jesus gives a parable of two men who built houses, one with a solid foundation of rock that withstood the storms that came, and one with an unstable foundation of sand which crumbled when the weather turned. This story marks the conclusion of the Sermon on the Mount, a message that seeks to redefine how we approach life. Jesus seeks to give each of us an identity, and that identity is meant to be the defining characteristic of our life that gives meaning and purpose to everything else.
Identity matters because it gives us the foundation for the trials we face.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
I spent so many years unsure about who I was. I looked for validation in my job, which is probably one of the big reasons I pursued a career as a professional minister now that I think about it. I looked for validation in relationships, which is probably why I didn't let people get close to me for so long. I don't think I ever fell into the trap of validation from possessions. But everything that I thought would give me meaning and purpose, ministry, marriage, influence, did nothing but to fulfill me. It wasn't until all of that got stripped away that I began to really seek out a solid founditional identity.
I graduated at the top of my class in college, with high encouragement from my professors about my gifting and potential. I've been let go from three churches, and haven't gotten a call about a ministry position in five years. The career peg of identity didn't do anything but stress me out and drain me. It sucked the life out of me prevented me from ministering well because I was too focused on the frustrating situations I was in that didn't give me meaning, purpose or validation.
I married a girl that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. She left just after we celebrated our four year anniversary. It would be easy to adopt this bitter and wounded label of "divorced" sulking in the failed relationship and broken covenant. But in the hurt of that trial, I began to realize that I wasn't defined by the success or failure of my marriage.
In both of these potentially defining aspects of my life, I've come to see that my identity does not hinge on either my career or my relationships, but that my career and relationships are defined by my identity.
Identity matters because it answers the most essential question of "Who am I?" Without this answer we can never go on to answer the bigger question of "Why am I here?" Identity is the foundation of everything we do, and if we don't have a solid, God-given identity, we spend our lives hopelessly trying to find meaning and fulfillment in things that have no power of validation.
It doesn't matter how good your job is, you can lose it in a heart beat. It doesn't matter how long you've been married, your spouse can leave at any time. It doesn't matter about how much wealth you've accumulated, all of that can be taken away at any time. If you're identity is built on these things, then it is a fragile thing that won't last when trials come. That's why people go through mid-life crises or commit suicide. There is no foundation for when the trials come, and when they do everything comes crashing down.
I've found this to be true in my own life. When the churches let me go it was rough. I was angry and bitter, and unsure about what to do next. My confidence was shaken, and I began to have a lot of doubt. When my marriage ended it messed me up. I couldn't function, had performance issues at work and trouble focusing at school. I'm not saying that these reactions aren't normal, even someone with a solid identity is going to be shaken by a life changing event like either of these things, but the reaction of a person with an identity is healthy and not destructive.
In Matthew 7 Jesus gives a parable of two men who built houses, one with a solid foundation of rock that withstood the storms that came, and one with an unstable foundation of sand which crumbled when the weather turned. This story marks the conclusion of the Sermon on the Mount, a message that seeks to redefine how we approach life. Jesus seeks to give each of us an identity, and that identity is meant to be the defining characteristic of our life that gives meaning and purpose to everything else.
Identity matters because it gives us the foundation for the trials we face.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Friday, October 12, 2018
Wounds, Healing, and the Future
In Wild at Heart, John Eldredge says, "I don’t trust a man who hasn’t suffered; I don’t let a man get close to me who hasn’t faced his wound." The first time I read this it really hit me. Eldredge is at the top of my list of people to meet. I've actually met someone who is on a first name basis with him, and he's told me that if he gets him to come to Cleveland he'll introduce me. Eldredge has has had a huge impact on my life, and I've never even met him. When I first read this quote it hit me. I had wounds, but I hadn't dealt with them. I was afraid to deal with them. I felt like I had no credibility in what I said because I hadn't experienced much of anything. I just existed.
I was forced to face my wounds, life fell apart and it was continue to spiral until you hit rock bottom, or wake up and begin to deal with things on the way down. I'm grateful that things didn't get any worse than they did. Over the past few months as I've shared about my wounds, I found it difficult to write about some of them. Part of me realized the role I had played in them, how I had let them go on for so long, and it was difficult to look at how I could have prevented things if I had been willing to look at the wounds.
At the same time, healing is so freeing. In the process of healing, God had shown me who I am, and that identity has given me direction for the future. If I had pursued healing sooner, what would my life look like? How much other junk could have been avoided if I had only been willing to pull off the band-aids and let God go to work?
The wounds I've identified are the big ones that have come to my mind, the main ones that have had the biggest influences on me. Writing about them, really processing them for the first time, has shown me some other areas that I need to look at. I've realized that though the main work is done on these five major wounds I've identified, there is still some rehab that God needs to do. There are other cuts that need some attention, and there is still healing that needs to take place.
As I look to the future I've wondered about new wounds that may come. I know who I am in Christ, I have an identity, a God-given name that no one can take from me. No matter what life may throw at me, I know what God has said to me. This identity is my foundation, my shield. There are always going to be those who try to wound us, those who want to inflict pain on us for one reason or another. There will always be those who try and tear us down, but we have the ability to withstand their assaults and escape unscathed.
What voice do you listen to as you move forward? The world will always try to define you, it will try and keep you from healing, try to stunt your growth, and try to keep you from hearing from God. But God will speak, amid all the chaos and lies of the enemy, God's still small voice is clearly heard, and that is the voice that matters.
We have a choice on which voice we listen to. If we listen to the world, we will be constantly debilitated by the wounds they inflict. Those wounds will become infected, spreading throughout our whole being, and ultimately destroy us. But if we choose to listen to the voice of God, letting Him define us, not only do we find healing, but we become resilient against future wounds.
"From my distress I called upon the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me in a large place. The Lord is for me; I will not fear; what can man do to me? The Lord is for me among those who help me; therefore I will look with satisfaction on those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes." Psalm 118.5-9
You are not defined by the wounds you have received, you are defined by who God says you are. I know this is true because it is what I have lived out, and I'm in a better place now than I ever have been before. As I look at the future, with my new scars, I look at what God is going to do in and through my life. The future holds more healing, and a life free from the pain and infection of wounds.
I am defined by God, not the wounds I used to carry.
I am defined by God, and the future is bright and full of hope.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
I was forced to face my wounds, life fell apart and it was continue to spiral until you hit rock bottom, or wake up and begin to deal with things on the way down. I'm grateful that things didn't get any worse than they did. Over the past few months as I've shared about my wounds, I found it difficult to write about some of them. Part of me realized the role I had played in them, how I had let them go on for so long, and it was difficult to look at how I could have prevented things if I had been willing to look at the wounds.
At the same time, healing is so freeing. In the process of healing, God had shown me who I am, and that identity has given me direction for the future. If I had pursued healing sooner, what would my life look like? How much other junk could have been avoided if I had only been willing to pull off the band-aids and let God go to work?
The wounds I've identified are the big ones that have come to my mind, the main ones that have had the biggest influences on me. Writing about them, really processing them for the first time, has shown me some other areas that I need to look at. I've realized that though the main work is done on these five major wounds I've identified, there is still some rehab that God needs to do. There are other cuts that need some attention, and there is still healing that needs to take place.
As I look to the future I've wondered about new wounds that may come. I know who I am in Christ, I have an identity, a God-given name that no one can take from me. No matter what life may throw at me, I know what God has said to me. This identity is my foundation, my shield. There are always going to be those who try to wound us, those who want to inflict pain on us for one reason or another. There will always be those who try and tear us down, but we have the ability to withstand their assaults and escape unscathed.
What voice do you listen to as you move forward? The world will always try to define you, it will try and keep you from healing, try to stunt your growth, and try to keep you from hearing from God. But God will speak, amid all the chaos and lies of the enemy, God's still small voice is clearly heard, and that is the voice that matters.
We have a choice on which voice we listen to. If we listen to the world, we will be constantly debilitated by the wounds they inflict. Those wounds will become infected, spreading throughout our whole being, and ultimately destroy us. But if we choose to listen to the voice of God, letting Him define us, not only do we find healing, but we become resilient against future wounds.
"From my distress I called upon the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me in a large place. The Lord is for me; I will not fear; what can man do to me? The Lord is for me among those who help me; therefore I will look with satisfaction on those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes." Psalm 118.5-9
You are not defined by the wounds you have received, you are defined by who God says you are. I know this is true because it is what I have lived out, and I'm in a better place now than I ever have been before. As I look at the future, with my new scars, I look at what God is going to do in and through my life. The future holds more healing, and a life free from the pain and infection of wounds.
I am defined by God, not the wounds I used to carry.
I am defined by God, and the future is bright and full of hope.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
Wednesday, July 25, 2018
Identity
1 Peter 5.1-11 has been the main passage of Scripture I have studied this year. For me, it is a verse that focuses on the identity God has given me. Identity is essential because it defines who we are, and reveals what we are here for. For a long time, identity was something I was searching for.
One of my top three favorite movies is Gladiator, and one of the scenes that always hits me is where Maximus tells the emperor his name.
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
This is a man who knows who he is. He boldly gives his name, and the poser emperor trembles at the site of him. I've wanted a name like that for years. I've wanted to know who I am, being able to confidently state my name. I played around with a few variations following the above model, but none of them carried any weight because none of them really came from experience. There was no trial or testing behind any of it, there was nothing that I overcame, and there was no real initiation.
For years I went through life without any real idea of who I was. Everything I did was about trying to keep up an appearance, hoping that I would be seen as what I wanted to be, but all the time knowing I wasn't that, and hoping that no one would see the insecure little boy behind the front. Things wouldn't work out, and I'd be devastated because there was no foundation behind me.
When everything came crashing down almost three years ago, I began to really seek God for my identity. In that time I've learned a few things, and for the first time in my life I know who I am, and I think I have an idea of why I'm here. If you ask me for my name, I have an answer, and this time it is full of truth.
God has taken trials and adversity and shaped me into a man with an identity and mission. He has spoken to me in significant ways that capture my heart, and showed me who I am meant to be. We've gone to places of wounding and He has brought healing. He's taken ares of insecurity and showed me what I'm made of. He's taken uncertainty and given me confidence.
In my own journey I've identified two central questions in the search for identity:
Who do people say you are?
Who does God say you are?
People talk, people judge, people mold, and as a result we hear things, think things, and come to believe things about ourselves. Some of these are good and reaffirm strengths, but a lot of the time these things serve to make us loose focus and keep us from really living. They focus on what is safe, what others think is best for us. As a result, we act a certain way, come to see ourselves a certain way, and begin to live a certain way.
Before we can embrace who God created us to be, we have to begin by looking at what we've been told, and what we now believe as a result. As part of my journey and search for identity I had to go back to key places and moments in my life, I had to acknowledge things that had been said, people who had hurt me, and bitterness I was holding on to. Through this process God brought healing and freedom, and in the next several posts I'm going to be sharing about these experiences.
I answered the first question, and in doing so, God brought about healing that allowed me to embrace who He created me to be. He wants to do the same for you.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
One of my top three favorite movies is Gladiator, and one of the scenes that always hits me is where Maximus tells the emperor his name.
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."
This is a man who knows who he is. He boldly gives his name, and the poser emperor trembles at the site of him. I've wanted a name like that for years. I've wanted to know who I am, being able to confidently state my name. I played around with a few variations following the above model, but none of them carried any weight because none of them really came from experience. There was no trial or testing behind any of it, there was nothing that I overcame, and there was no real initiation.
For years I went through life without any real idea of who I was. Everything I did was about trying to keep up an appearance, hoping that I would be seen as what I wanted to be, but all the time knowing I wasn't that, and hoping that no one would see the insecure little boy behind the front. Things wouldn't work out, and I'd be devastated because there was no foundation behind me.
When everything came crashing down almost three years ago, I began to really seek God for my identity. In that time I've learned a few things, and for the first time in my life I know who I am, and I think I have an idea of why I'm here. If you ask me for my name, I have an answer, and this time it is full of truth.
God has taken trials and adversity and shaped me into a man with an identity and mission. He has spoken to me in significant ways that capture my heart, and showed me who I am meant to be. We've gone to places of wounding and He has brought healing. He's taken ares of insecurity and showed me what I'm made of. He's taken uncertainty and given me confidence.
In my own journey I've identified two central questions in the search for identity:
Who do people say you are?
Who does God say you are?
People talk, people judge, people mold, and as a result we hear things, think things, and come to believe things about ourselves. Some of these are good and reaffirm strengths, but a lot of the time these things serve to make us loose focus and keep us from really living. They focus on what is safe, what others think is best for us. As a result, we act a certain way, come to see ourselves a certain way, and begin to live a certain way.
Before we can embrace who God created us to be, we have to begin by looking at what we've been told, and what we now believe as a result. As part of my journey and search for identity I had to go back to key places and moments in my life, I had to acknowledge things that had been said, people who had hurt me, and bitterness I was holding on to. Through this process God brought healing and freedom, and in the next several posts I'm going to be sharing about these experiences.
I answered the first question, and in doing so, God brought about healing that allowed me to embrace who He created me to be. He wants to do the same for you.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
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