Everyone who walks the face of the earth is searching for meaning. We need a purpose, and without one we merely exist, going through the motions of our day to day obligations, and longing for something more. The search for meaning in life is fruitless without the foundation of identity.
I spent so many years unsure about who I was. I looked for validation in my job, which is probably one of the big reasons I pursued a career as a professional minister now that I think about it. I looked for validation in relationships, which is probably why I didn't let people get close to me for so long. I don't think I ever fell into the trap of validation from possessions. But everything that I thought would give me meaning and purpose, ministry, marriage, influence, did nothing but to fulfill me. It wasn't until all of that got stripped away that I began to really seek out a solid founditional identity.
I graduated at the top of my class in college, with high encouragement from my professors about my gifting and potential. I've been let go from three churches, and haven't gotten a call about a ministry position in five years. The career peg of identity didn't do anything but stress me out and drain me. It sucked the life out of me prevented me from ministering well because I was too focused on the frustrating situations I was in that didn't give me meaning, purpose or validation.
I married a girl that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. She left just after we celebrated our four year anniversary. It would be easy to adopt this bitter and wounded label of "divorced" sulking in the failed relationship and broken covenant. But in the hurt of that trial, I began to realize that I wasn't defined by the success or failure of my marriage.
In both of these potentially defining aspects of my life, I've come to see that my identity does not hinge on either my career or my relationships, but that my career and relationships are defined by my identity.
Identity matters because it answers the most essential question of "Who am I?" Without this answer we can never go on to answer the bigger question of "Why am I here?" Identity is the foundation of everything we do, and if we don't have a solid, God-given identity, we spend our lives hopelessly trying to find meaning and fulfillment in things that have no power of validation.
It doesn't matter how good your job is, you can lose it in a heart beat. It doesn't matter how long you've been married, your spouse can leave at any time. It doesn't matter about how much wealth you've accumulated, all of that can be taken away at any time. If you're identity is built on these things, then it is a fragile thing that won't last when trials come. That's why people go through mid-life crises or commit suicide. There is no foundation for when the trials come, and when they do everything comes crashing down.
I've found this to be true in my own life. When the churches let me go it was rough. I was angry and bitter, and unsure about what to do next. My confidence was shaken, and I began to have a lot of doubt. When my marriage ended it messed me up. I couldn't function, had performance issues at work and trouble focusing at school. I'm not saying that these reactions aren't normal, even someone with a solid identity is going to be shaken by a life changing event like either of these things, but the reaction of a person with an identity is healthy and not destructive.
In Matthew 7 Jesus gives a parable of two men who built houses, one with a solid foundation of rock that withstood the storms that came, and one with an unstable foundation of sand which crumbled when the weather turned. This story marks the conclusion of the Sermon on the Mount, a message that seeks to redefine how we approach life. Jesus seeks to give each of us an identity, and that identity is meant to be the defining characteristic of our life that gives meaning and purpose to everything else.
Identity matters because it gives us the foundation for the trials we face.
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
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