These identities can come from anyone, and from an intent to cause harm or an attempt to protect. False identities can be dealt with the best intentions, or the most malicious. The school bully can give you a false identity, and so can a loving grandmother. The search for identity begins by discovering what is false, and how we have owned and believed what is false.
To find answers we have to ask questions, it's the reality of the world we live in. In reading the Gospels I believe I have found the questions we need to ask, and they come directly from Jesus. In Matthew 16 Jesus is in Northern Israel at Caesarea Philippi (Pictures below form my trip in 2009), and He is asking His disciples about His identity. This isn't for His sake, He knows His identity, it was bestowed by the Father at His baptism and affirmed through His time in the wilderness (Matthew 3 and 4), but here He's trying to see if they grasp who He is. He asks them two questions, and these two questions are the ones we need to ask ourselves if we would know our true identity.
"Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, He was asking His disciples, 'Who do people say that the Son of Man is?'" (Matt. 16.13)
Jesus asks His disciples, "What does the world say about me?" And that is the first question we need to ask ourselves. Who do people say that I am?
What have people said about you?
Who have people tried to make you?
What do you believe about yourself as a result?
All of these things serve to form our false identity. People try to tear us down, they try to make us believe things about ourselves that are unhealthy and destructive. Sometimes it's because people just suck (yeah I said that, and yeah it's completely true), in addition to this people are just mean (and yes, those are two distinct descriptions, but don't ask me for clarification right now), the rest of the time people are just insecure about their own identity and they build their false identity by making other people insecure about their identity (95% of the time this is the case, so let's show some grace to people). People give us labels that aren't us, but sometimes these labels stick, and we begin to believe them, thinking less of ourselves, or even more highly of ourselves than we should. (I recommend Max Lucado's book You Are Special it's fantastic imagery of this)
People also try to direct us, pointing us in the direction we should go, and in following their plans we can sacrifice who we really are. I think this is how your grandma gives you a false identity, she tells you to be a doctor so you do, but you really don't want to be a doctor, but you do it to make grandma happy. You can embrace a false identity by following someone else's desires for your life. And again, this may come with the best intentions, people who care about you and just want what's best for you, but it still is an identity from the world.
Finally, what do you believe about yourself based on the answers to the above. Do you believe what the bully said about you high school (or what your co-worker said to you last Thursday)? Did you follow grandma's dream for your life? What do you believe about you? Do you see yourself as worthless or priceless? A pushover or powerful? Disposable or invaluable? Do you believe that you have something to offer that the world genuinely needs (you do)? What do you believe about yourself?
The first question we have to answer if we would know who we really are is what people say about us. This probably isn't going to be a fun conversation to have, some of the stuff I had to write down I really didn't want to, but when I did it was so freeing. Jordan Peterson says that we have to face the thing we least want to face, because that is where the deepest significance lies. We have to identify the wounds we've been given so that they can be healed.
If we would find our identity, we must first identify the false identities we have taken on.
Who do people say you are?
Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11
TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!
No comments:
Post a Comment