Application to Me

It's been an exhausting weekend, but a good weekend. My second vision quest (http://proverbs1824brothers.blogspot.com/2017/07/vision-quest-by-will.html) did not go as planned, but God showed up and spoke, revealing something for me to focus on moving forward. It was a good weekend. I've put off writing this post out of exhaustion, but I have less than a hour of Sunday left.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God. -John 3.3

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. -John 3.16-18

These verses are from the very mouth of Christ, pointing to the crucial importance of Christ. I'm a guy. I'm not very good at sharing my emotions and feelings. I don't cry a whole lot. I've felt like the weight of the world has been mine to carry, and that because of this I can't show any weakness. I've felt that I have to be perfect, an expectation that I've felt from others as well, which only made me feel the need to press on, suck it up, and hope everything worked out even more.

These verses tell me that I don't have to be that way. They show me that the weight of the world was never my burden to bear (I tried to get into writing poetry in an attempt to connect with my emotions, not sure how well I did, but one poem I wrote was about this). These verses show me my own need for a Savior. If I'm honest, this is a hard reality for me to accept at times. I hate that I need to be rescued. I hate that I need help with things, even from God. I feel that the expectation I've put on me, the expectation other's have put on me, is something God also expects of me, but He doesn't. God does not expect me to be perfect, in fact, He knows how imperfect I am. He came so that I could be born again. He came to rescue me, giving me eternal life, not judging me because I need Him, but loving me even when I don't want to need Him.

John answered and said, "A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven.... He must increase, but I must decrease." -John 3.27, 30

These verses point back along this same line of thought, heaven never placed the weight of the world on my shoulders. Heaven didn't even place the need of me to provide my own salvation on my shoulders, let alone the salvation of anyone else. My purpose in this life is to point others to God, glorifying Him as I fade into His glory. For years I thought the only way I could serve God was in a church. I wanted to pastor a large church, not the biggest church in the world (that would be arrogant after all), but a decent sized church of a few hundred, maybe a thousand, people. I'm a good speaker, and I wanted to use my gift to preach to others, but that dream, though it seems noble and about God, was really focused on me. I was focusing on what I needed to do for God, in some ways to earn His favor and approval, but I don't have to do that, and God doesn't want me to go that route. I've stopped looking for church assignments, and honestly, I've found contentment and approval from God in simply obeying Him. I'm excited about the journey He has me on, and the opportunities He will bring to me to serve Him and love others.

He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him. -John 3.36

This verse gave me a lot to think about. I've believed in the Son for as long as I can remember. I was raised in church, and though there had to be a time before I believed, I can't remember that far back. Believing is easy, but obedience is hard. I know the Bible, I can tell you what it says, and I can tell you what to do with it. I can encourage you and challenge you. But I've seen the promises of God, the assurances of the Bible as being true for everyone else. I've believed, but I haven't lived obediently by owning this message. Eternal life is not merely living forever, it is living with a different quality of life, God's quality of life, beginning here and now. Without living in obedience to the Son, this quality cannot be experienced. I've missed out on a lot of things because I was simply focused on believing and what believing meant I had to do. Obedience is freeing.

He left Judea and went away again into Galilee. And He had to pass through Samaria. -John 4.3-4

And now we come to the one that is the hardest for me. I'm an introvert, a really big one. At my brother Ty's wedding last year, while everyone was dancing I was working on tearing down tables (initially) with one other guy I knew. That's just me. I took a Facebook quiz recently called "What is the reason you'll go missing?" the answer made me smile, partly because it was funny, but more so because it was true "Got sick of people and moved to a mountain cabin." I don't know how many times I've said that I'd love to be a recluse. In some ways my personality drew me to pastoring. It's easy to speak to a large group of people, their just faces in a crow that you don't have to really interact with. But I'm called to more than that. I've called to intentionally be around people who need me.

God desires to rescue me, in order for me to be free from the false expectations I feel I have to fulfill. He calls me to believe and obey, receiving the freedom offered in His quality of life. Finally, He calls me to get out of my comfort zone, are reach out to people through the freedom His quality of life has given me.

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!