The Misplaced Wound, Impact

I've been thinking about this post for the past few days, and honestly I'm not even sure what to write. This whole series of posts on this particular wound have been difficult to write about. That may simply be because of the nature of the wound and my understanding of it, I'm thinking that talking about the healing process will clear a lot up.

I've been looking back at my time in Michigan, and part of me really doesn't know why God sent me there. I was there for 10 months, of the two ministries I started, one didn't last as long as I did, and one gradually dwindled over the next year or so, and then it was cancelled. I've lost touch with everyone from when I was up there, occasionally I'll get a Facebook from one of my teens/young adults, but those are becoming fewer and farther between. Even the people outside of the church I was close to, the Thursday morning youth pastors, the couple that became my Michigan parents, and the two other youth pastors I built good friendships with, communication has dwindled.

This wound impacted me in how I see church leadership, and the older generation. It got me to start looking at military chaplaincy (part of me is still really interested in this, but I don't know if that door is going to open). It got me to really start thinking about the importance of vision, though it would be several years before I even began to formulate my own vision for an organization.

I know that nothing is wasted, that God uses all things to work to mold me into the image of Christ, but part of me still has no idea why He sent me to Michigan, to this church, to these teens and young adults. It may have been for me. The move to Michigan gave me the opportunity for closure in another area (More on this in a few weeks), it gave me a heart for new college graduates entering ministry, and it put me fully on my own, without any support system or relationships at all, for the first time. And maybe the impact was simply for God to be able to bring healing.

Tozer said, "It's doubtful that God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply." I don't have the brain power or emotional energy right now to begin to delve into the idea of God causing deep pain, but this may simply have been a moment of causing deep hurt in order to bring about great blessing in the future. This experience led to other painful experiences, and it made me ask a lot of questions.

Again, I don't know that I have a good answer on this one, but keep reading, because the healing is where all of this began to make sense for me, and hopefully it helps someone out there move towards healing in their own life...



Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!