Initial Reflections

My 24ish hours in the woods gave me a lot to think about. I realized some things about myself that I had never grasped before, and the reality of how I had been living put a lot of things into perspective.

Living for Someday

Waiting for Someday

Entitled to Someday

Surrendering Someday

Those were the titles heading the main groups of 3x5 index cards I had written on in the woods, but there is one final set from this trip that contains my initial reflections of God's revelation to me on this outing, the survival test that turned into a vision quest.


Therefore 8/26/16

I am owed nothing. Feelings of entitlement just push everyone I care about away, and it keeps me from being a blessing.

Life is hard, but God cares. It is okay to rest and take in creation. It is good to unplug and sit by a lake for over an hour. There are moments of rest that God gives.

Waiting for the next thing gives entitlement a foothold. It isn't grateful, and it doesn't rest. It is always moving, and it's exhausting. Nothing is promised, there may not be a next thing, and living with longing never gives peace.

Living for someday is hoarding. It takes but never gives. It piles up and wastes what it has because it is worried about what isn't promised.

Proud and Entitled
Busy and Ungrateful/unsatisfied
Worried and Selfish.


God,

That has been my life, and it has brought me no where good. The way I've lived isn't loving or humble. It doesn't trust or seek you. It isn't full of peace, rest, or favor.

God,

I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to push aside to make more room for me. I don't want my plans, or my ideal to be where my hope and focus are.

I hate what this realization has cost, and how long it has taken. I hate what I have put my wife and girls through. Please forgive me, and help (my wife) to forgive me. Transform me into Your man. A man whose love is faithful and steadfast, who is known for these characteristics. A man who fully trusts in You, and seeks You first on everything.

A man who humbly fears You and obeys You.

A man who willingly accepts Your discipline and correction knowing it is for my good. A man who lives to serve and bless others.

God,

Please don't let my family be ruined. Give me the faith and courage to do what must be done. And give me the humility to accept Your will no matter what.

Be my focus and lead me.



Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!