What am I doing this for?

It was a Friday night in late August 2016, my lightly packed Camelbak was loaded with the minimal gear, and the rain had stopped, but there was a chance of rain in the forecast later that night. I drove to my friends house, parked my car, and then he drove me to the location I had picked out for this survival adventure. He dropped me off, made sure I had what I needed, and told me to call him if I needed anything. Then he said a prayer for me, and I headed into the woods.

I found a spot that was hidden, and then selected two trees that would work for the shelter I had in mind. I found two trees about 7 feet apart, and then went to work setting up my shelter. I pulled the paracord I had brought out of my bag, and then got my knife out of the sheath on my belt. I set up the smaller tarp in a hammock shape on the ground, I didn't trust it to hold me weight off of the ground (this turned out to be the right call), and I didn't have the daylight left to figure out an elevated sleeping system. I then strung the cord between the two trees for the larger tarp, just in case it did rain that night. I secured the corners to it would divert any rain that might fall, and climbed in to test it. As soon as I as I was in I heard a tear, and two of the eyelets on my hammock tarp and ripped, glad I wasn't higher off the ground.

I got back out, made a few small adjustments, and then put my pack in. Before I climbed in for the night I did a quick tick check, really didn't feel like getting lyme disease on this particular outing. As I settled in for the night, the first time I had ever spent a night alone in the woods, I began to wonder, what am I doing this for? The plan was to simulate a survival scenario, but I already knew that wasn't going to happen. My life wasn't at risk, I had been hungry from my high school wrestling days, so going without food was no challenge, and I would be "rescued" in just over 24 hours, from the same parking lot where I had been "stranded".

As I lay there, with night falling quickly in the woods, it gets really dark very fast when you're surrounded by trees, I wondered again, "God what am I doing this for? What are you wanting me to see while I'm out here?" As I lay in my hammock, I heard God ask me a question. It wasn't an audible voice, but it was very clear and distinct, "Do you realize that is the first time you've ever cut anything with that knife?"

Until that moment I hadn't realized this. I bought it back in 2010, and I've carried it on countless hikes, but never once have I ever taken it out and actually cut something with it. It's a good knife, an American made Gerber, a special edition of the Gator fixed blade with an s30v stainless steel blade, and a Bell And Carlson composite handle, it's one of my favorite knives. As I lay their in the dark, that question from God was all that was going through my mind, "do you realize that is the first time you've ever cut anything with that knife?"...


Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!