Waiting for Someday

I sat on that bench, watching the light begin to break through the trees, and realized that all of my life was being lived for someday. I was afraid of the present because what if my actions in the present ruined the future? My entire life had been spent playing it safe so that I wouldn't jeopardize the future, but by not living in the moment, by living for someday, I wasn't living now, and was simply setting myself up for a lifetime of somedays.

I sat there for a while, rubbed some anti-itch cream on my oak mite wounds (which didn't help at all), and then I got up and started walking again. I made my way along the trail, taking my time as I had the entire day to kill, and eventually came to another bench. This one I had visited before, it over looks a narrow valley in the woods. I sat down, still thinking about the insights from the last bench, and have every intention of simply sitting there for a while, but God had other plans.

As I sat and looked out over the trees, taking in the silence of the early morning woods, God continued to build on the theme of someday. As you may have guessed, this word became the central focus of my time in the woods. I reflected on the way I had lived, putting off so many things because of a dream for the future, plans and goals that I wanted to accomplish, ideas of what I thought was the best outcome for myself, all of which was shaken now because I was in the midst of a divorce, and facing so much uncertainty and unknown challenges.

I reached into my bag, pulled out a few more 3x5 note cards, the pen I had brought, and my water proof Bible, and wrote these words:

Waiting for Someday 8/26/16

I've spent a lot of time longing for the next thing, but as soon as I got it, it was like checking it off and on to the next goal.

High school is when I think it started. I wanted to get to college, and when I finally did I wanted to graduate and get married. Once marriage happened it was on to having kids, and then the next kid.

Bought a house, and my mind went to the next house.

Jobs were always about getting through it, building my resume, and then getting the big church.

My life has been spent waiting for some day, and missing the moment.

Philippians 4.11-13

Learned to be content in whatever situation

Be brought low and abound

Endurance in Christ

...


Fight the lion, 1 Peter 5.1-11

TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY!